Wings

Comment by Caroline Grace on November 1, 2011 at 6:34pm

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This is a really wonderful post!  The logic behind it is wonderful.  Many people do confuse being other things for being transgender. I so agree that we do not transition our gender, or at least I haven't.  Perhaps some do? 

 

I am not sure that gender is immutable and never changes during a person's lifetime. In the insect / animal kingdom there are those who do change sex and may even change back.  This may also be true in plants, but I can't think of any right off the top of my head. So if changing sex might be an indicator that gender changes, perhaps it can?  I also know that food / chemicals/ and other environmental influences do change behavior typically associated with one sex or another. This could imply that gender is what has changed and not sex.

 

I would give up on the term transition just yet. I might suggest that we transition when we change our gender presentation to others. I might also say that we transition when we fiirst begin to express our true gender to oourselves rather than something else.  I also think that the journey of changing one's body is also a type of transition. 

 

And I so agree with the main point of this blog. Transitions as typically defined within our community are not for everyone. Few would want or could handle the kind of change necessary to successfully complete the process.

Comment by Marsha M. Marsha on November 2, 2011 at 12:29pm

Um... See my latest blog.

You know me well enough to understand my views on all that you have mentioned and we agree on about everything but really Lana, when we have a history opposite our gender, are we ever going to be considered a person of our gender by society?

Another issue is some people really are living in a gender presentation quite different from their true identity, but for various reasons, it would take a major overhaul for people to recognize them in their real gender and they are not capable of making those changes. Does that make them less than their claimed gender? Do we view them as moths? ( now some moths are gorgeous, i.e. Luna)

But I see your point, there are some in our community who appear to be with us for reasons not associated with GID and in fact use the transgender community as a "lodge" to excersize their active and diverse libido or in other words, it's all about sexual activity and not gender identity.

But again, see my latest blog, we may never escape the labelling and marginalizing.
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Comment by Julia Giannopoulos on November 2, 2011 at 3:36pm

Lana,

 

So what your saying here is that those who know that they need to transition but are using excuses for their inaction shouldn't even try to transition.

The basis of such is woven in the human animals inate ability to procrastinate.

If your theory was magically adopted by the majority of the TS/IS population you would see the suicide rate of these subsets skyrocket from their already lofty percentages due to the fact that all hope no matter how dim would never have seen the light of day.

Why go to the moon when so many things could go wrong??

Why climb Everest when their is a decent percentage that you might not come back alive?

Why even live?

Life is one big chance and not for those that are afraid of rolling the dice.

 

For those that don't consider transition a  need instead of an option seriously need to look in the mirror and reevaluate their identities.

Being trans is a harsh reality. Live with it and get over yourself people.

If your TS or IS and can't transition for some reason then fine youre the person that must live and ultimately die with the decision you made.

If your transgender then enjoy a  life of cross dressing and going to conventions.

If this blog entry is actually about you Lana which I'm positive it is,  just stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Your beautiful, you pass fully and your a kind and loving person.

What the hell is the problem?

 

Signed,

 

a butterfly with wings of gold.

Comment by Lana Fisher on November 2, 2011 at 3:40pm

Lets not descend into hyperbole and name calling please. I'm advocating no specific thing for any individual person.

Comment by Lana Fisher on November 2, 2011 at 6:00pm

I can value and respect that comment, jennell. I just need to point out that I perhaps have been misread and misinterpreted. I do not think that a person who, as you put it, "falls initially outside standard median physical standards" shouldn't transition. I think such a person shoulbe realistic, however, about the social role she will consign herself to. It's unrealistic to think that such a person will blend effectively as a cisgendered female, and less so now than ever before because of heightened media coverage on trans issues. As I said earlier, this post does not advocate any course of action for any individual person. It does however, point out a few ugly truths that some in the early stages of self discovery don't want to see or hear or acknowledge. Full integration as a natal female is simply not possible for some of us, (and isn't that sad!) and for those whom this statement applies, they need to understand that the choice they make is often not "should I keep trying to pretend to be male or instead live life as the woman I am" but rather is the far less glamourous "should I keep trying to pretend to be male, or live life as 'A Transsexual'". It's a brutal choice to have to make for some of us, and I steadfastly stand by that person's decision, no matter which choice she makes, because BOTH options are terrible. But I absolutely believe that no matter what decision is eventually made, understanding the choice in the first place is the healthiest, sanest way to begin.

Comment by Lauren Elisabeth Tancyus on November 3, 2011 at 3:04am

I'm not sure that I'm in full agreement. I have patients who will never come close to passing for many different reasons due to body habitus and other physical features (is that a redundant remark??). My job is simply to point out gently that these realities may make life very difficult in many social situations as part of the decision process, but ultimately, I support that person's right to self determination, if there are no medical or issues of not being able to make a competent decision. All of us that identify as transsexual understand the imperative to become congruent in the mind- body continuum. For some of us, transitioning despite the implications of not being able to blend in overrides the need for social acceptance. If the person understands this and won't be disabling themselves by transitioning, I will support their decision. Given the wide range of women's appearance, I think the outliers are more rare than common.

Comment by Lana Fisher on November 3, 2011 at 3:12am

Yes, I agree completely with those opinions, Sherri. That was far more succinctly put than my rather long winded explanation. Which is probably why you have a professional career and I don't. Lol...

Comment by Nargees SUltana on November 3, 2011 at 3:07pm

Hi Lana,

A very true opinion u have expressed & u do have to anticipate some messages of dislike and have the right to be firm on your belief of opinion.

We are here as we are women, and the best way to express is we have wings interwoven with twine & can only flutter but not   fly.

As you described your physique, the same me too possess.

However, the word trans(ition/gender/sexual)to address us irks a lot, many a times, some messages with grammar (pronouns)of different than feminine or with reference to their past does upset.

Please do avoid for your good sake to not receive negative responses.

All, I believe exist in their chosen manner is because GOD is pleased hence they live the way they have chosen, alteration or whatever.

Let them be, care for your self. 

Regards

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