Since the recent departure of my wife and events that have transpired and happened of late in regards to family it has left me with lots of things to ponder on about life. What are we to our spouses family. For example my wife and I were together for eleven years and if you ask any of her family they will tell you that I gave her and the boys the best eleven years of their lives. Even through all of the turmoil and muck a muck and yes some at least have said in spite of my transitioning and the changes. Then it happened the mother of all nightmares. So now my wife is gone and her family seperating themselves from me and at least one, the mother, (unrightfully) blaming me for the accident because of my transition. Which to me holds no water there were to many things in favor that night to call those three people home. Then you add on the fact that now at least half of the boys now want nothing to do with me now that things are divided and taken. Possibly more but the future will tell.
So I got to thinking if you remove the fact that my spouse is no longer hear and our boys that are not my blood even though I have treated them as such so they do not have to see or talk with me to keep a relation with them. Add in the fact that the youngest just graduated High School and is now living with other family beause he does not want to be reminded of his mother around the house and how long will it take for all that I knew to cease. so that makes me nothing in their eyes. The few issues have now outweighed the many good things that I have brought upon their lives. Now I am left wondering how long until even conversation through phone or mail cease.
Then I thought further of my transitioning and the struggles that my wife and I both faced even trying to love and be there for one another. My family had talked with us both said that they would call and check on her and told her that they would be there if she needed to talk or vent. They never called or offered an ear to her or if they did call it was to vent about their frustrations or lack of understanding of my transition so then she is trying to be there rock instead of them helping her. Though yes she never called them or tried to talk with them yes. Even I who tried to call her family once and a while at least never got any return calls or help from them. So that leaves me with the impression that we really do not mean much to our other respective families no matter what the smoke they try and fill you with through the years.
Well I will contemplate more upon this and reflect later once things reveal themselves and little more and the puzzle becomes clearer.