Wow. Deep stuff but basically my perspective on my current situation needs to change. I had a really good visit with the therapist yesterday. What is interesting is that basically he is telling me in a different way some of the same stuff I alreay quote unquote "know" but need to take that knowledge and make it my own. As a good friend of mine would say it is the difference between information and revelation. You can tell someone "Don't touch that it is hot." , they may listen to you and they may not. They may need to stick their hand in it or on it to find out. " Ahhh that is hot." "Told you it was you idiot." Information to revelation. Sometimes you have to find out for yourself. I have a lot to learn and a long way to go. Hopefully I will still have all my fingers when I get there.
What else, oh yeah fear based motivation vs love based motivation. A world of difference between the two processes and outcomes. Enough said. I will be going back in two weeks. I need it. I have got to find the balance for what being transgendered means for me and how to express that in a way that is positive. It will not be the same as any of you because we are all different even if we share similar experiences. In my heart I know it has something to do with being able to balance two types of energy male and female. What that translates to outwardly is where our obvious differences are on display for the rest of the world to see. We know we are different we hide it to survive and fit in until we can't do that anymore. It means I have to work it out and that isn't easy. Just like losing weight. Just like remaining steadfast in a commitment. I am deeply grateful to the creator of this website so that I have a place to openly talk about this in the moment when inspiration comes to me. Thank You so much. Keep being yourself because you are helping thousands of people. I am especially grateful for those who have taken the time to comment and that means all of you whether I like what you say or not. Sometimes we need to hear things we don't like to shake us out of our own head. Take a good look and realize maybe I do need to change that about myself. I'm working on it. I hope you are as well.