What Needs To Change?

Comment by lissa michelle on September 6, 2012 at 11:13am

Balance...it is all about balance. I like the concept, "fear based motivation vs. Love based motivation". Thanks for that! Good luck on the journey. See you on the road sometime....

Comment by Jenn on September 6, 2012 at 4:30pm

Hi Kevin.  You're seeing a therapist, you've started telling people you're transgender yet I suspect most of the people you might be telling hardly know what it means when you say, "I'm transgender."  Are you ready for a little tough love?  

What does it mean to you when you say "I'm transgender"?  I know this is the million dollar question but it has to be asked sometime.   Does it mean that you think you're transsexual and you want to live as a woman?  For many of us this is where we want to be, it replaces all manner of pills for depression and gives us back our sanity and even our lives.  

If this is you, you have a long way to go as did the rest of us.  But it can be done.  You are not the first to loose the weight, do FFS, etc. Living successfully as a woman will be the most complex yet rewarding thing you will have ever done with your life.   If you've ever done acting you'll recognize the total emersion you need to make in a new persona.  The girl that's inside screaming to get out needs to be completed as a woman.  She needs a female name.  She needs to move with grace and fluidity.  She needs a voice that is liltingly feminine.  Does she love shoes, dresses, adornment?  Is her hair her crowning glory?  When she enters a room does she literally suck the air out of the room with her presence?  

I know some of us as transgender women want to stay under the radar screen and remain invisible but I want to suggest that if you're going to be a woman, make it worthwhile.  Pick a famous woman as your role model.  You will ultimately become yourself but it speeds the process to follow a role model.  What you're literally doing is what young girls do as they blossom into womanhood only you're going to have to do it in fast forward.  

Hugs, Jennifer

Comment by Caroline Grace on September 6, 2012 at 9:36pm

There comes a point in many a transgender person's life when a volcano erupts... when the energy within breaks apart what was once a mighty shell that seemed immortal.  It is not a matter of if that energy will break out... it is simply a matter of time... a question of when and how much will gush and how much will explode with sparks flying...

When we are watching a volcano we do a great service to one another when we encourage that release to be as smooth as possible and with the fewest fireworks possible...  In a way we are hugging the person squahed within a shell, relieving the pressure before something catastrophic happens...

Sweetie, I'd suggest that "Kevin" is part of the shell that will soon break away...  and I believe that your time has come to let truth and integrity win out in helping guide your path. Hugs to you as you do this battle to hold onto the past and that I believe is already lost. Truth wins out...

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