I think this issue is all about perspective. To 99% of society the only difference between a gay queen and a transsexual is a surgically constructed vagina.
I just read Janice Raymonds Transsxual Empire and the making of the She-Male. I've fought the battle to be recognized as a woman for 5 years now and have endured the 'he-she' treatment for what seems like no end in sight when I'm in my little town doing the same job as before. Now over a year post op I've decided it is time to own the accusations and when around the moogles I'll buy the gay man with a vagina pronouncement. Ok world, here I am, a gay man with a vagina who will never ever be a REAL WOMAN. Now I feel much better.
I think it is much better to simply own up to it and let them have their way. The world of men is a tough world and a woman does not have a chance with her own truth.