"We are One"

What exactly is Gender? A couple choses to keep their baby's gender a secret.

A Toronto couple's decision to keep the gender of their 4-month-old baby a secret has touched off a sometimes nasty debate over how far parents should go in protecting young ones from society's boy-girl biases.
The following article appeared today in "USA Today"

Views: 4

Comment by Jenna Morningside on May 27, 2011 at 7:05pm
WOW ! What a wonderful idea !

I personally feel that this style of upbringing would have saved me several decades of of confusion, misery, and grief. I actually realized at the age of three that I was a girl and not a boy as I was made to live my life. I now am trying to live the rest of my life as a woman the best I can, and at times it can be very difficult since I am decades behind in my everyday woman skills (make up, hair styling, etc., etc.).

I also carry with me a large burden of guilt for messing up the lives of the three women I had serious relationships with while trying to prove to the world that I was the man everyone said I was.

The child will know best which gender to live by.
Comment by Shauna Callaghan on May 27, 2011 at 8:51pm
Yeah let's totally trust something that will willingly eat glue despite suggestions to the otherwise to decide how they want to live their life. These parents also "unschool" their children. It's a form of homeschooling that lets the child decide what it wants to learn and in some cases how to learn it.

Just because a child can do what it want doesn't mean that it should, and I'd be honestly surprised if 20 years down the line this actually turned into something genuinely positive.
Comment by Monica Lorraine Beaudry on May 28, 2011 at 9:50am
When I read the article a few days ago and saw the outrage and negative comments from some people, I thought "Whats the big deal?" It will all come out in the wash as the child figures things on her/his own. The negativity comes from homophobic people who don't realize who and what we are is petty much is predetermined at birth.
I think it is a pretty good idea actually. Maybe if everyone adopted this way of doing things people could live real lives without fear or humiliation.
Comment by Sylvia on May 28, 2011 at 12:14pm
I think the idea of this is kind of silly - but the reaction is even sillier still. Leave it to the wing nuts to get all bent out of shape when someone tries to break a rule or two that makes them feel uncomfortable in their tight little box of ideas that live in.

For me though, the idea that you are giving a child freedom to choose their gender simply by keeping the nature of their sexual genitalia a secret is a faulty one. I support the idea behind it - I just don't think its going to do anything beyond getting other people all twisted up about it. In that regard though - I do support them wholeheartedly! I cheer them for causing all that twisting and squirming by the conservative conformists.

This quote from the article sums it up for me:
"I don't expect this will have a major negative or powerful influence on Storm. It certainly has influenced the people who are objecting, however."

I think the bru-ha-ha over this is just absurd. First off - the baby at 4 months is going to be clueless about whats going on around him/her. At some point he/she is going to get curious though and he/she is going to look between their legs and say - "oh - I must be just like XXXX" (brother, sister) - if there is going to be any gender disphoria attached to this discovery, which is probably very unlikely anyway, its not going to come before then.

I don't think the parents are doing anything that could in any way seriously damage the child - but I do think the idea that by keeping the baby's natal sex a secret from the public at large it will somehow give the baby the freedom to "choose" his/her own gender is equally ridiculous as the notion that by doing so, they are somehow committing a form of child abuse.

Its going to be a number of years before the child even begins to understand and deal with the concept of gender and figures out that he/she needs to apply it to themselves in some way. I can't imagine the parents keeping the "secret" for that long - but maybe they will pull it off. The child and the child's siblings are going to know the sex sooner than later I think.

There are a lot of wacky people in this world - and many who raise their children under extreme or fanatical (or even twisted) set of beliefs. Many such children are raised with little knowledge of the world outside their own community and are kept from knowing or learning about it. To me, this much more common practice is a much more serious violation against a child than what is going on here with the "secret sex baby" yet as a society, we let those communities exist.
I wish we (the media) would get serious about their jobs and not be so quick to grab a cheap headline by making the un-sensational appear to be sensational.
Comment by Shauna Callaghan on May 28, 2011 at 9:12pm
Another article on the subject:

There's placing less emphasis on gender (which is a good thing) and there's raising children completely unprepared to enter society (not a good thing). These parents are stupid, you don't experiment with your Goddamn child. It's a child who cannot consent with being Mommy's Little Science Project.

"When asked what psychological harm, if any, could come from keeping the sex of a child secret, Zucker said: “One will find out.”"

Try reading more than a headline, people.


You need to be a member of PINKessence to add comments!

Join PINKessence

Hits Since 04/01/09

Web Site Hit Counters

Blog Posts

I know it a Cliché thing to say

Posted by Danielle Ward on September 20, 2014 at 9:18pm 0 Comments


Posted by LindaMarie Johnson on September 20, 2014 at 12:04pm 0 Comments

I am not sure where I belong.

Posted by Carol Corbett on September 13, 2014 at 11:12pm 11 Comments

forging ahead

Posted by phyllis nowacki on September 12, 2014 at 3:02pm 0 Comments


Posted by Amanda Strong on September 8, 2014 at 12:37am 3 Comments

Giving myself the gift of time

Posted by Rynnae Thomas on August 30, 2014 at 10:39am 7 Comments

I blew it

Posted by Lyndsey Catherine Rush on August 28, 2014 at 1:12pm 3 Comments

Jami Gee at S,C,C

Posted by jami gee on August 28, 2014 at 11:15am 1 Comment

Life goes on... happily..

Posted by Jillian Munsell on August 28, 2014 at 6:48am 1 Comment

Forever In My Heart

Posted by Gwendolyn H. on August 26, 2014 at 4:27am 7 Comments


Posted by Rebecca Ellen Ray on August 25, 2014 at 8:30am 6 Comments

PeWorld Map

© 2014   Created by Chloe Prince.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service