What About Work?

Comment by Brigid DeFeo on September 28, 2011 at 5:56am

Thank you so much, it was such a relief, knowing everything would be okay. Being able to grow my hair out was also a relief, because it allows me to take a step closer to my goals.

Comment by Caroline Grace on September 28, 2011 at 6:58am

What a huge step!  While I am not glad about how you were betrayed by your coworker, I am glad that you "womaned up" and shared your story. Hurray for you and I hope you can acknowledge the courage it has taken to get you to where you are today.

 

When I was young and talked about things that took courage for me to do I often heard, 'What do you want: a medal or a chest to pin it on?"  To heck with the pin; I hope you get the chest you want.  Signs of your femininity are signs of your courage since transition is a scary thing. Damn scary, I'd say and I practically never curse.

 

It is huge when we tell others who we are.  Even huger when we stand to lose something important by telling.

 

Now here's an important next step.

 

Your lying dog, untrustworthy co-worker is telling your story to others.  He or she is tell as many people as they can. If that were happening to me at work, I'd want the real story out there. Simply said, I would figure out how best to tell others and not let a person with another agenda be spreading whatever around about you..

 

Some ideas you might want to include when you tell your story:

 

1) I have a medical condition that the AMA, APA, NASW, WPATH and others have created treatments for.

2) Based upon the recommendations of my doctors I decided to undergoing those treatments.

3) The condition is that my my gender at that assigned to me at birth don't align.

4) Since doctors can't fix the mind to match the body, the treatments they recommend are making my body match my mind.

 

Of course everyone will want to know when this will take place. (Since the word is out, why wait?)  Have a date in mind when the switch will happen. Also let everyone know you will NOT be going back and forth between genders when coming to work.  It will be a switch they can count on.

 

Hugs, and congratulations!  Better days are coming and you are making that be the case for your future.

Comment by Stephani Krzysik on September 28, 2011 at 8:30am

Good luck Brigid, know that you have people in here that has your back as well.

Comment by Marsha M. Marsha on September 28, 2011 at 11:20am

There is something liberating about confessing and moving toward toward the place of transition we desire.

 

(queue Dianna Ross)

 

My transition at work went better than could have been expected ( I chronicled it in three blogs here on PE in August of 20110) and I am still employed at the same place and thriving among people who knew me then and know me now.

.

Comment by Misha on September 28, 2011 at 9:41pm

My experience is that being open has been positve and absent troubles I would have imagined. I hope itr turns out as such for you.

Misha

Comment by Misha on September 28, 2011 at 9:48pm

liberation is a wonderful thing. I have had very positive comments ferom those that I had thought would most unlikely to do so. It feels good and rfeassurung.

Comment by Brigid DeFeo on September 30, 2011 at 4:05am

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their words of wisdom. During this time period, it is extremely hard to deal with these situations, but knowing there are people who are willing to help you through them, brings a smile to my face and makes it just that much easier to make it through. Thank you again.

 

Comment by Jamie Anne on September 30, 2011 at 11:00am

Good Luck Brigid!   I transitioned in front of 15 other employees...its not easy but it is rewarding to the Soul.  Nine months living as I should have my whole life!   Tears shed,,,feelings hurt...but I wouldnt go back for all the money in the world.  Be strong Sister!!!  You will be amazed at how much you find yourself smiling!

Comment by Jamie Anne on September 30, 2011 at 11:01am

oops I meant 150 other employees lol

Comment by Caroline Grace on September 30, 2011 at 12:32pm

It will get easier for you I hope, I hope.  It has for me. This morning I was in the ladies room with 2 other gals from work.  We were laughing, carrying on, and just having a moment of fun. Neither one of them were the least bit concerned about being in a bathroom with a transwoman...

 

I thought about how lucky I am that they now perceive me the right way.   Everyday I have teh chance to change a person opinion about what defines a transperson. I hope they see a kind, loving, caring, happy, and fun to be around person.  They already know that I struggled to get here so no need to remind them.

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