So Thursday Hubby had a catheterization to get better diagnostics before surgery to repair a congenital Atrio-Septal Defect(Hole in his heart). That was planned on, I wasn't expecting anything dramatic or anything, so it was a bit of a shock to learn that in addition he requires a quadruple bypass. On top of that, his previous cardiologist hadn't done any sort of diagnostic after his heart attack in 1997 and therefore hadn't discovered that it was apparently due to 100% blockage of at least 1 artery at that point!
Sometime in the next 1.5 months, he goes in for open heart surgery. Needless to say, I'm more than a little freaked out by the whole thing. I'm confident he'll make it through ok, I have to be. I can't function if I let myself think any other way and I certainly can't let him know that I'm more terrified than I've ever been in my life. Besides, the upside here is pretty significant. Once he is recovered from this, he will be in better health than he has enjoyed for at least a decade before we met. In many ways, he will be a new man!
I find myself a bit bemused to contemplate the major transitions both of us are experiencing and helping each other through. In a very real way, we are both shedding the physical reality which has held us in thrall, "Tied to the Whipping Post". And yes, sometimes I just wanna come out with "Good Lord I feel like I'm dying!". The thing is, I, we, are not dying but being born. This is like that first breath where the baby begins howling in protest as soon as they are able. The process might not be very pleasant but now our world is so much bigger and filled with wonder! Now to work on figuring out how those tall critters manage to balance on those leg thingies...