OK...This is going to be one of those, I'd better post it quick before I chicken out type of posts. I need help. I have come to realize, but still have trouble admitting, that I am suffering with some serious depression problems. In fact, I have so much trouble admitting it that I haven't discussed it with my wife although I know that when I do she'll say"No Kidding"! Being trans does play a part of it but not all of it by any means. The question I need help with is who do I turn to for help? Should I find a counselor/therapist to talk to? Should I speak to my family physician? (Could it be related to my recently diagnosed diabetes? Could the diabetes be causing a lack of thyroid functioning thereby exacerbating the depression?) I'm afraid to treat it medically because I've seen so many people have trouble with the dosing & once they start they have trouble for the rest of their lives. Also, what's going to happen when I admit to a Dr that I have contemplated suicide on a frequent basis? (Remember there is a distinction between contemplated and attempted.) Will they put a note in my file that says "No More painkillers"? Then what happens next year when I need surgery on the other knee? Should I pursue BOTH options? Should I ignore it & let it get better with time? Will God condemn me to hell if I do give in? If anyone has any information they could help me with please let me know.