This is hard for me to say....Depression

Comment by Melanie Cee on September 20, 2012 at 5:46pm

Please look up the number of the crisis center call line in your area. They can direct you to a therapist if you feel it necessary. Your PCP can prescribe anti depressants and you needn't have to give great details but the questions related to your health issues definitely need to be addressed by your PCP.  I have no idea how God will judge you but clearly you have not witnessed the carnage left behind by such an act.

Comment by Melanie Cee on September 20, 2012 at 5:56pm

I forgot to add, you need to talk with your partner. If you are anything like me you have withdrawn from the relationship. Don't do that!! It only gets worse.

Comment by Caroline Grace on September 20, 2012 at 6:31pm

Step one: Need help? Get help. National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 800-274-8255. Use it tonight if you need to. I keep it on speed dial in case I ever need it or in case someone I know needs it.  In each year I make the call and hand the phone over to someone several times.

If 43% of TG folks have ATTEMPTED suicide, how many do you think have frequently comptemplated it? Over 90% is a safe bet, I am thinking...

Step 2: Those with Gender Indentity Disorder (GID) suffer from depression. Which leads us to step 3...

Step 3: Recognize that GID can be treated with proven success.  See WPATH Standards of Care, version 7, for the most current thinking about treatments. For some therapy alone helps with depression, for others adding HRT does the trick, for some it is just recognizing your gender dysphoria, and for other surgeries are required. there are other options discussed, too, which brings us to....

Step 4: You know you have gender issues and you know they cause depression, so get a therapist that is skilled in gender issues. That skilled in part is a necessity in the long haul and it could save your life, so don't settle. If you are in a storm, find a port, - so in a panic find any therapist but once you have the crisis being managed make sure you get an appropriate one later on.

Step 5: Explore other issues, including medical concerns.  I was sure I had a brain tumor as my thinking was so screwed up. Sadly it wasn't a brain tumor and I had realized that we were back at gender issues again. Maybe you'll be luckier than me and it will be brain tumor.

If you go to an experienced gender therapist they'll already know how to sort out typical depression from being TG versus it being over other issues. It is part of what they are charged to do. Again, you can see what they are supposed to do from reading the WPATH's SOC.

Step 6: Never ignore it. It takes work and professional help to get rid of it. It also takes support from others and it takes meeting others who have been where you are to know that you are not alone and that dealing with being TG isn't the end of life. When you actually start to work with the treatments you'll likely realize that it is the beginning of life. I have often said, "I wanted to live before I died" and I am doing it now. So join a support group!!!!!

Step 7:  Get phone numbers of peoople who will understand and use them when you are not in total crisis. A total crisis needs a professional immediately. For those other times, a good cry might be something you and girlfriend can and should do. My cell is your mail box in 2 minutes... When there's any doubt which one you need, call the professional

Comment by Karen Moate on September 21, 2012 at 5:10pm

You could start by calling your doctor if you are comfortable with them. If not then you should probably get another doctor.  I believe the hard part is actually asking for help because to a lot of people it is a blow to the ego. or a sign of weakness.  Get over yourself and go see somebody.  You are not a weak person to ask for help you are being sensible.  I had back surgery when I was 21 years old.   One month after surgery I was on another cave exploration trip.  Then I started hearing stories from people saying oh you will need another surgery in ten years because that is how it goes.  I listened to them and I believed them.  I totally forgot that I was doing what I loved to do only one month out of the hospital.  I later figured now I am going to gain weight because I had back surgery.  I did.  Then I thought I will never be able to run because I had back surgery.  I never tried.  I then had an excuse for why I couldn't do many things because I had had back surgery but none of it was true.  I listened to and believed a lie.  Guess what I run every day and my lower back has given me no trouble.  Did I mention I am waaaayyy past that ten year mark and haven't had surgery again but somewhere in the back of my head was this voice telling me you can't because______.   Don't believe your own lies about yourself it is just low self esteem and mis-guided belief about what you can and cannot do.  Do the things you can do until you are able to accomplish more.  It isn't that you can't- You can- you just need to believe contrarywise to what you are believing about yourself now.  That is my triple reverse psychology that I give you for free.  :0  Short version---CALL THE DOCTOR TODAY!!!  Sorry for yelling but please hear it and heed it.  karen
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Comment by Caroline Grace on September 22, 2012 at 7:58am

Forgot to include Step 8.

Step 8: Don't tell family, spouses, or friends about gender issues until you have talked this through with your therapist and given it at least month's worth of consideration after your therapy talks. (Telling your spouse you are depressed, or worse, is okay.)

Know that many who are TG manage a way to live with this condition without the need to transition and can keep their "secret" just that - a secret. Others manage to express themselves when out of town, or when the other half is away. In many cases these are acceptable arrangements with a spouse and don't involve co-workers, family, friends, etc.

Transition is hard and it is certainly not for everyone, so for all you newbies out there don't assume that is where you are headed because we are rare and few...

Comment by Erin Detty on September 22, 2012 at 8:21am

Your too hard on yourself, talk to your Doctor, get a Counselor. I don't know I just have my opinion and there it is. Transitioning on top of life's challenges are sometimes too much, we all have needed someone to talk to, Diabetes is nothing to play with ether. Take care of yourself, God loves you and dose not make mistakes. Have Faith in yourself, do whats right for you!      

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