the way we dress

Comment by Jenn on January 22, 2010 at 10:49am

Rabecka, I don't know where the negative comments came from but having just come from First Event I would have to say I saw it all.

If our presentations as woman didn't matter at all, we'd all be wearing nondescript gender neutral clothes designed to keep the cold out. But that's not who we are. Certainly not who I am as a TG woman. I want to present as the most beautiful woman I can be. From your pictures I know you do the same. I don't stray very far from my vision of what a beautiful woman would look like and wear. That's my fashion sense. At the same time I enjoy TG women who are developing their own unique style. And certainly at a TG convention you can go over the top, being playful and unique.

There are also TG women who have not yet learned how to dress their bodies. They need careful loving nudging to move them toward whatever their vision is for themselves.

Clothing and accessories can cost a lot of money. and in the pursuit of styles that work we tend to waste a lot along the way. Let's face it, I can't wear Barbi Doll clothes, but I sure have tried. Once we learn what works for us and if we follow fashion trends we can start looking for bargains that will work. One has to be careful though, women throw stuff away because it's out of style.

First Event had a wonderful style workshop. The ladies who ran it talked about building a fashion conscious wardrobe. Done thoughtfully it doesn't have to be expensive.

Comment by Marie Lauren (White) on January 22, 2010 at 1:42pm

I agree that it is distasteful of our community to deride others for what they choose to wear. We want to be inclusive. I think there are different reasons for wearing clothes that are not so fashionable or "appropriate" for an occasion. For some, it is economic while others may still be on a learning curve. Still others, I believe, are in a developmental stage in which younger fashions mirror their own sense of youth. As time goes by, they may opt for more mature or conservative fashions. I suppose it is common for women to compare their appearance with the other women. I always thought that to be an instinctual tendency. After all, a primitive woman had to compete with others in the tribe to look attractive/healthy in order to procreate.

Anyway, I appreciate the overall consensus which seems to be to avoid disrespecting others for their differences in taste and to be sensitive in offering any advice for improvement. I must say that I have encountered the disapproval of some who believe dressing for youth and/or for the nightclub is always wrong because it creates a negative image for transgendered community. I respectfully disagree. What to wear is contextual notwithstanding an individual choice. For example, if one is going out early for a night of dancing, one may wear something more revealing and then don a cover up if dinner is taken at a family venue. That is my standard. Well, there are always exceptions and exceptional people. Thank heavens we are not all the same. So, yes there are some who always prefer the shorter hemline just as fashion conformity is not a universal to other groups. Yes, clothing does make a statement which is subject to interpretation. In the case of one tgirl I know, it is about youthful disposition and the desire to show off a lovely body. Some whose sensibilities are offended might interpret her style as narcissistic, immature or sexually titillating. Perhaps narcissistic, but one must ask oneself if most of us possess that trait and that it is part of our femininity. The later characterizations are incorrect assumptions that are projected as a result of the critic's own prejudices and sense of inadequacy.

We do need to encourage acceptance for our big tent community. Respect for individual choices will win the day.

Comment by Kristi L on January 22, 2010 at 2:40pm

It is sad that some are resorting to picking on what others wear or where they buy their clothing. I cannot see anyone here have the right to be a snob. It takes a lot of courage and self esteem to even present oneself as the woman they are. I think those that snub should take a deeper look at themselves.

Comment by Rachel King on January 22, 2010 at 4:58pm

and another thought is, because you are mentally 16 and know the words of Neil Sedaka songs, doesn't mean you have to leave yourself open to ridicule by dressing like a 16 year old.
Of course when the fetish is your prime mover, you don't see that.
Um, whats an emo?
Ye Gods, I show my age sometimes dont I !!

Comment by Faith Waters on January 22, 2010 at 6:00pm

Hell, I give a crap what people say, I'm proud to say I buy things from Wal-mart, K-mart, and even Sears, I work from pay check to pay check, and being a single parent, you got to do what you can!!!!!
I love all my clothes!!!!
Faith

Comment by Rabecka Salisbury on January 22, 2010 at 7:19pm

Wow ladies thank you all for the responses! I am glad to know that there are those of us out here who arent stuck in a high school state of mind. Julia you are right, if we dress a certain way that is how we are going to be precieved by those around us or where ever we are at. Now ladies i would never degrade someone for shopping at a thrift store( i got lucky and found a coach bag at one once) but if we have friends that are dressing like teenagers or are dressing in a way that might get them hurt lets say something as friends but not as enemies!

Comment by Juliet Femme on January 22, 2010 at 8:02pm

Its the real person that counts,making poor comments about members wearing low cost outfits,is not called for.Its whatever one can pay,to look the best they can that matters.

Comment by Rachel King on January 23, 2010 at 10:31am

AND, Joannie, ( I love starting a sentence with "and"),you are absolutely correct and right in stressing the points you have made in such an eloquent manner.
It most definitely is not about how you wear clothes but what you wear and to where, you wear them.
We have of late, again, had an upsurge of people on this site who use this forum for their own voyueristic gratification and amazingly, genuine( are they?) PE girls fawn over them.
Not satisfyed with that, these perverse people take their fetish to the streets under the nearly accepted banner of transgenderism and fully expect the public to applaud their appalling behaviour. Things like Goth have been around since the 90's, that I know of. It is old hat. On the other hand, fetish dressing , although centuries old, is riding on the back of TG acceptability and is doing immeasurable harm to genuine TG people.
Where the hell you lot got the " look at the tag on my outfit " idea from, beats me, so come back to the point, which means you will have to actually READ the blog.
It's not what you wear, it's how you wear it and it's also WHERE you wear it.
I have yet to see a 50 plus year old, wearing a mini,mini skirt, fishnets and 6' heels that I didnt laugh at and think, how bloody stupid they look.
Don't tell me to grow up, I'm 60, but I try ever so hard not to look ridiculous.
And I'll stand up to be counted as feminine, anytime.
My acceptance in the community is reliant on my dress and behaviour.
I can live with that.
If you can't, don't ride on the TG wave. Take your fetish elsewhere.
Good points Joanie, and thank you for sticking to your guns.
love to all,
Rachel.

Comment by Sally Cross on January 23, 2010 at 11:24am

I'm one of those whose wardrobe is almost 90% clearance and thrift store. I know a couple of gurls who are so into designer clothes and shoes! All I can think of is "You spent how much on those shoes?!!" I dress as well as anyone I know and spend very little. As a 14th generation Mainer I wear the clothes, and their low cost as a badge of honor! I can't say I don't judge people, but it is mostly on their behavior and how they present themselves. I could care less if her shoes say Prada or Payless, how does she walk?

As far as different generations and different clothing styles.....If it is really you, great. If it is a fetish thing, keep it in the clubs or at home. I'm not vanilla, but I'm perfectly happy keeping that stuff in the bedroom!

Comment by Rabecka Salisbury on January 23, 2010 at 6:59pm

Well i can say that honestly we as a society look down at anyone who dresses like they are wearing almost nothing anyway. if that is the way they dress then yes they will have to deal with the repercussions of what our society will say. As far is people not being made fun of here on PE i dont know if that happens, but i can say that that is we do here in the united states. this blog was not meant to talk about those who dress in almost nothing. I for one wear a lot of tops that show cleavage, but i know when not too as well. I was more or less saying that this is expensive to transition, so if another girl is out there wearing cheaper clothing than you are used to then please dont make fun of them but instead embrace them as your sister and realize that they are doing their best!

Comment

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page