The Price of Loneliness

Comment by Rebicca Ellen Ray on April 17, 2011 at 9:37pm

Youre at a truely dificult time in life right now but have patience. Change is slow to come but it does eventually come around. For every down there is an up. hang in there.
Love Ellen

Comment by Zoe A. Tipsword (Farren) on April 17, 2011 at 10:04pm

I know your pain, I've been there myself and I was blessed to find Sophia here on PE and now were are engaged to be married ^_^

Comment by Caroline Grace on April 18, 2011 at 12:19am

Divorce alone is heap to deal with. Transition alone is heap to deal with. Combined they seem to multiply problems.Many have been where you are. Many have made it through and people's lives do change.

I has 2 sets of friends get married in the past 4 months. I know 2 of them would have thought "No way" that could ever happen to me 2 years ago, or even a year ago. I believe that none of us can accurately predict what our lives will be in 5 years. No person can get it right and TG people don't have a special gift in foretelling our own futures either.

Everyday everyone faces a new beginning on some level. Some change is drastic and other changes just happen without notice. But all of are moving forward toward a future that we can not yet fathom... So mourn when it is appropriate and celebrate the joys and miracles that came your way today. And when it gets really rough have a plan worked out to help you get through moments when you can't do it alone: friends, neighbors, pastors, or professional medical people or helplines that you have put on speed dial.

Caroline

Comment by Rene Mitchell on April 18, 2011 at 7:41am

I am so sorry for what you are going through, I know how it is. I am dealing with the pain of separation and the end of my marriage.

Comment by Joanna on April 18, 2011 at 2:55pm

Hi Ellen, It lasts a while but gets a lot better. Took me almost 2 years to get over the full effects of the divorce. I know it's hard but try to hang in and bear the pain. You will be amazed how much better things get and may come to feel that the divorce was needed in order to be the real person you are. We all need to be loved as we are...Joanna

Comment by Jillian Munsell on April 18, 2011 at 8:13pm

To add to all the other wonderful thoughts here.
Yes _ I too when through the hell of divorce, coming out, loss of work and the death of my mother in law.. all in about 3 months time..( the divorce and loss of work came on the same day to boot).
I was a wreak.. but walked through it - slowly and with a single step each day.. Here is the regiment..
1 - get out of bed..
2.. have a good breakfast..
3 - shower and
4 say... "I can do this.."

A counselor I had at the time told me... if you really go down into to the depths of despair, and just stay in bed all day, it will be hard to climb back out.. REALLY HARD>

Stay up on the ridge of the great canyon...
Do the 4 things above and don't fall into the crevasse .. and you will gain back all you had and more.
He was right.
Ellen... Keep moving one step at a time and you will come through it..

You can call me anytime you need a bit of support or an ear to bend..
Jillian..

Comment by Ellen Faye Harvey on April 18, 2011 at 9:09pm

Wow, I never expected so many sweet comments of encouragement. Some made me cry (something I never used to do) I probably don't have it as hard as some of you girls did, It did feel like I was alone, but you/we have a suffered. I am still trying somewhat short of desperate to find avenues to connect with at least one. I joined the local women's group and I was nicely accepted. But trying to find a transgendered soul when the room is only occupied by lesbians is hard. There are some really nice ladies there too, don't misunderstand. A giant huge to all who reached out to help, love you all, Ellen

Comment by Marsha M. Marsha on April 19, 2011 at 8:34am

A year a go last week I became single, having to leave my home and long marriage, and like you I was surviving the first few weeks but then going to bed alone every night was so painful after nearly 30 years of sleeping with the same woman and many of those nights were spent crying myself to sleep. Then in May I met another T-girl and we immediately hit it off and both of us secretly were drawn romantically to the other but did not pursue a dating relationship until November, but since then we have fallen in love.

I wish I could say with certainty you will find the same wonderful romance, whether T, GG or GM to succour your loneliness, but I discovered it starts with finding friends and enjoying their company. One thing we both know, you can't go back, but yes it does get better.

Hugs,
Marsha

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