Despite being hectic as it was squeezed in between conference calls my first trip to the therapist was quite helpful. It has been helpful open up my history of the past 40 years and still be ok afterwards. There are still many issues to work through not the least of which would be the havoc created in the lives of my children should I progress towards transition, which certainly sounds like the direction I am heading.
Looking back I realize that my gender identity was forming very early, nothing new to most of you I'm sure. Playing house, painting my nails, wanting to wear a wig for more girly hair, all those little hints that maybe I'm different. Combine this with the family alcoholism producing the need to please everyone probably never gave me the chance to blossom as Sharon. I'm sure it had some impact on why I never told anyone about being molested, the need to please that person overwhelmed me too.
I look back at the times when I could have transitioned early, new schools, college, all times where I would have made the choice to show up and live as who I truly am. At this point in life it may be time to borrow my wife’s favorite line from AA, It's all about me.
Anyway, just a short share, feeling like I really need friends at this point. I need to get shopping so I can get out to meet everyone. So many changes to make to feel comfortable though, and summer is never a good time to make some of those changes quietly. Oh well, maybe skirts will have to wait till fall.
If you have read this, thank you for indulging my ramblings.