I am back in male mode, but the memories of the past week will not vanish. My wife left on vacation to visit a friend, and so, being alone afforded me time to explore my feelings and my identity. By workday, I continued to dress as my male side, but after work I had the freedom to be lissa.
I was also able to go to a therapy session fully dressed. It was the first time I was out in public. My drive was about one hour, longer due to the traffic jam caused by rush hour accidents on the way. At first, I was nervous in the traffic. But that gradually was replaced with such satisfaction. Lissa was actually driving the car!!
It was a very productive therapy session. I believe that being female is really what I want. On Saturday I also left the safety of the house and visited the Tiffany Club. Both events made me understand that there really is a need for me to pursue my dream of transitioning. What won't change is the patience that I maintain. My wife and I are now together 25 yrs. and the initial disclosure to her (that I like to wear feminine clothes) a few years back did not go over very well. And emotionally, I still love her and care about her, so I will still go slowly. But the hope, desire and the longing to be whole never goes away.
This is going to be a year of change, change that was reinforced by the week that was....