Struggling with the color blue

Comment by HELEN BRADY on July 26, 2012 at 10:10am

I am sure many of us have been where you are. I experienced some of this myself years ago, depressed and had absolutely no reason for it. Found out that pyrilimine maleate 5mg in Midol took care of MY depression in about 20 minutes. Have kept it around ever since. Lets see, that was 37 yrs before my epiphany and transition.

Comment by Rachel King on July 27, 2012 at 10:16pm

The trouble with commenting on your blog Megan, is there is really so little information provided about your life to know what to say.

To applaud you for the acceptance of your spouses trans status is an understatement, it shows the truly beautiful person inside because you are doing what few women can cope with doing, you are loving unconditionally.

A rare thing indeed and one that you share with my own wife, Mai.

I am full of admiration for the both of you because I have said before, I doubt that I could accept or cope with the same situation we place on our spouses.

I'm not proud of that but there you are, but in truth, I don't really know where I would stand given the same situation.

Much of that may well be that as trans woman, we have to show a postive degree of selfishness to be able to transition.

Not one of us doesn't have an acceptance of this selfishness but transitioning is something that has to be felt to be believed, it is such a deep rooted need, as opposed to want, such is the feeling we are forced to live with as our reality.

I noticed in your profile how you summarised your spouse as "him" and now, in your blog you show acceptance of her true gender by the femme pronoun.

Are you feeling the loss of your husband so deeply that it leaves you unknowing about your place in this world?

Might I suggest, that you think long and hard about revisiting where you and your spouse are in your relationship and instead of Husband and Wife, you look at the two of you as Partners, Partners in life, Partners in the raising of your children, Partners in making the decisions that affect each one of you individually and as a family.

What I am trying to say is, you need to take back control and become an active person in the stability of your family.

You are not superfluous to your family, you are the central cog in making that wheel turn smoothly.

Without you, that wheel, that is your family, becomes dysfunctional.

I hope you can find a way through this fog and become that central cog in your family wheel.

You are essential to it.

Good luck.

 

Comment by Megan Strickland on July 30, 2012 at 5:09pm

Thank you Rachel I appreciate your input. I know I am very laid back to the point where a lot of times i get taken advantage of. I have been working on standing up for myself and while it's hard to do it also gives me a sense of power. I have discovered so much about myself over the last few years, one of which is I am a lot stronger then I ever thought I could be. I am also perfectly capable of being by myself, I am choosing to stay with EJ (thats what I nicknamed my partner) that was a huge realization for me because one of my fears has always been being alone. I don't have that fear anymore. I just know right now I am on overload trying to process everything but I will get there it just takes patience and training.

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