This may or may not be my last post here. I am just soooooo tired and frustrated. When does it ever end? I feel like I am constantly being ripped apart neither male nor female. I know one of the questions that therapists ask to determine whether or not someone should go through SRS is "If you could take a pill & be either sex which one would you take. Right now I don't even care just give me one or the other just put me in one place & let me stay there. And right now the main thing going through my head is how easy and appealing it would be to just down the whole bottle of pain killers my Dr gave me. In fact, there have been 3 or 4 times this last week that I have prayed to God to just let me die. And right now I'm thinking I should give him some help. I am so tired of even trying anymore. And even here I don't fit in. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not worthy enough somehow to fit in? I have tried to form friendships. I have been as open and supporting as I know how. I usually will send out multiple messages to people. I'll check in on folks to be sure they are doing OK. Sometimes I even get a reply. People will (mostly) respond if I initiate the messages. But I never have anyone writing to see how I am doing. I have a few people here who I hope would miss me and I thank those who have a special place in my heart. I have even had one sister who I have met in person. Teresa, Thank You for all of your help. Meanwhile,please everyone, support & love each other as best you can. I have to go and do some thinking now. I have just gone from depression into despair. I have reached the conclusion that it will never get any better. Those of you who pray, please say a prayer for me.