So here's what I think..........

So I'm not going to tug at anyone's heartstrings here, but I really do know what is important, although I freely admit it took most of my life to get here.  And here's what's important to me;

1 - My brother and his gf live on  Long Island, NY, mere miles from the center of the disaster that Hurricane Sandy just left.  I got a call from him a little while ago telling me that they are alright, will have no electricity for probably another week but (partly because of my prep advice) are having a good time, all things considered.  I did tell them the essentials: fill the bathtub so you have flush water, get stuff you don't have to be a chef for, canned and fresh fruit is alright, don't use candles too much, and stay dry and warm.  Very cool.

2 - I have friends, people I literally grew up with, that I have sought out and re-established contact with who also live in the devestated area.  Some of them live in the countryside of Connecticut and Massachussetts (including one of my cousins) and they are alright as well.  That makes me glad, to know that my past is catching up to my present finally.

I could probably go on but  I want to get to the point ...........

I'm thinking about our own Cap'n Lana, out there fighting fires and saving lives as the remnants of Sandy move way further inland than anyone imagined and just nail places totally unprepared for it.  I think of the people from PE in Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and Jersey whose houses, cars, or possessions might have been washed out to sea, or just ruined.

See.......... it doesn't really matter what your politics are, and allowing issues like that get in the way of what could otherwise be a meaningful life is just stupid.  If you think that trickle down will work better for you, good on you!  If you think that an 'anything goes' approach to transition and/or life, have at it.  But if you are not at peace with yourself, have not found a good space to be in, or are still struggling against your own self because you cannot find that good place, then that is just plain sad.

I literally outgrew most of the things I thought were carved in stone from transition. I got over old slights, past insults and fractured friendships.  I connected with my past almost back to the point where we were embryos together (in one case that's literally true).  I re-became.  I didn't stop disagreeing with people who hold polar opposite views from mine, but came to accept that I don't always get/have to be right.  I sought out people with the same values, not ideas.  It created a symmetry in my life that only comes from finding a place where others matter at least as much as we ourselves do.  My hardest lesson of all was to stop thinking that it was all about me in my transition, that the world was still not revolving around me and never would.  I even stopped wondering if I was being pegged, if my voice gave me away, or my manner of dress or facial structure.  I started to enjoy my life and then started caring again about all of the people around me.  Of course, I never will forgive my mother but I have put her damage into perspective so that I could enjoy not only my own life but of those in my environment, making for a rich landscape on which to operate.

Eight million people without electricity, running water, homes, extra food.........but still have hope.  Any chance we can all come to some sort of reconciliation on our differences, skip the rhetoric, and just support each other the way my brother and his neighbors are doing amidst the ruins and rubble? 

Well, okay, I did sense a pull or two.  Sue me.