Shopping With My Wife

Comment by Darla Rose Klein on April 4, 2011 at 3:10pm

I have just expeirenced the same thing Diane,so i wonder are they helping us to be more femme, or helping us out the door.Darla

Comment by Tara Rose on April 4, 2011 at 6:36pm

I've experienced the very same thing. And as Darla said, is she helping you to be more fem or helping you out the door. That is so perfect, for i have been there many times with my wife. Sometimes she's in and sometimes she's all the way out and the cycle just repats it's self. Just from all the many stories i have ever read about wives of cd's, and from my own personal expereince, I am of the opinion that there is no such thing as a 100% acceping wife. Maybe 80% or less, But not one, is 100% totoally accepting and understanding. It matters not what they say. I have found that my wife was so supporting and pushed and encouraged me like a wife of a dream. But after a year of my coing out to her. I now have realised that she pushed me and encouraged me to dress only to satify her curiosity of how i would look and be. Once that was satisfied, she has lost all interest and raises all kind of hell about it. Things that I had warned her about upon my disclosure to her. But no, she wanted it bad, so I gave in , and now she has no interest in it at all.And so as a result of what I thought i was receiving, I have only dressed new years eve and 2-26-2011. I do feel betrayed for that.Anyway, wives will never be 100% understanding, no matter what they say.

Comment by Adeena Dawn Forrester on April 4, 2011 at 11:07pm

Wives are peculiar aren't they. When my wife though I was a CD, she was supportive. When she found out I was TS, she didn't want to have any part of it. Take whatever support you can get until it isn't anymore! In the meantime, look amazing in the gown, heels, and matching jewelry!!!

Comment by Diane Michelle on April 5, 2011 at 11:12am

Thanks Ladies for the feed back. Thank you to my wife for helping Diane for over 30yrs!

Comment by Michaela Sandiego on April 7, 2011 at 4:30am

As a SO of a transwoman... please don't expect so much from us. It can be very hard, as you all know it's not just yourself that is transitioning. You worry about getting odd looks, well we deal with those same odd looks as well. Alot of us has to change as well. Who we are, who we thought we were, what we're going to be. You say no wife can be 100% accepting. Define 100% acceptance? Forgive me if I'm wrong but even bringing percentages of who is more accepting is actually quite harsh. We try, we really do but please don't "rate" us in our acceptance. For those of us who try, we do the best we can.

Comment by Tara Rose on April 7, 2011 at 5:19pm

Well Michaela, I don't think it's so harsh as to use a percentage as a away to rate how much a wife is willing to accept. Just as in the original poster's blog here. She talks of her wife as"sometimes understanding, sometimes not" The "sometimes not" here indicates to me that the original posters' wife "does not agree to" "all" that the original poster is doing, has done or wants to do ,byt way of crossdressing. It's very plain. I have a wife as well, so I know what Diane Michelle is talking about. I totally understand your feelings too, that there is so much for you to learn, and so much for you to decide how much you can accept with your cd' husband. Yes there are many things to consider, what will our family and friends think? What about the looks in public and /or nasty comments while out. You may ask yourself, can I as a wife of a cd, accept all that comes with the crossdressing of my spouse? Like many wives, I'm sure you have found yourself in a situation in life that you didn't initially sign up for. You may ask, how far does my husband want to go with this? You may say to yourself, I can let him/her dress at home only,,,but only once a week,,,,just not all the time he/sh'es at home with me. So you see ,there are so many variables that come into play whereas ,if there is anything by way of your SO's cd'ing that you say no to,,then i can't (and I'm sure many others around the world) have to apply (acceptance to a degree). So we have the word "degree,,,how is that measured, well it's measured by percentages,,and so thus we arrive with a number like, 80% 85, 98%. I'm sure, as in most marriages,,, like wives married to cd's,,,,,there has to be a degree of acceptance, so then those degree's are broken down into numbers. And yes Judy, I agree with you that it mostly relies on the two people in the marriage. But still i say, there is no such thing as a stasquach, there's no Lock Kness monster, there is no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, and likewise, there is no such thing as a 100%, totally accepting wife of a crossdresser. And thirdly or fourthly , I really don not understand why my example of using degree's of acceptance should have been questioned or attacked, for it seems so elementary that it should not have been challenged. Are we not intelligent people here at PE??
Love and respect to all,,,,,, Tara Rose

Comment by Michaela Sandiego on April 7, 2011 at 8:02pm

Fear not, it was not an attack. It just seemed a bit harsh. It was my opinion and I am free to express it, just as you are yours. I find a balanced viewpoint is quite good, it helps us all to learn!

My partner is not a crossdresser, but a Transwoman. She is fulltime and I do accept this. Perhaps because I knew of this before we started a full fledged relationship it is easier to accept? I'm not sure. Of course sometimes it's not easy as no partnerships are.

But how do you judge which is 100% accepting? That I am interested in!

Comment by Tara Rose on April 9, 2011 at 1:52pm

Michaela, when a cd wants to do something, like ask his wife if he /she can stay dressed as a woman all weekend after working all week, and his wife says no you cannot. And there are wives that know but say they do not want to see. So these wives I would call not 100% accepting, so the acceptance degree begins to fall. Now I don't know how to accurately fall upon a figure below the 100% , but once the wife speaks of boundaries, and sets limits on her her cd husband,then she isn't 100% accepting. And your question, how do I judge what is 100% accepting?, Well it would be when a cd sakes jis wife, may I dress as my fem self all this weekend, and she says yes, when they go out to dinner on wednesday, and the husband says, may I go underdressed tonight? and she says yes. Or honey I'm going to the CD, TG convention next week ok?, and the wife says yes. When a sweet wife ALWAYS says yes, then that to me would be a 100% accepting wife. (love & repect)...Tara

Comment by Michaela Sandiego on April 9, 2011 at 8:24pm

Well when you put it like that there is no such thing as a 100% accepting spouse in general. Husband, wife, whatever.

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