Robin's Blogs from 360

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IM A T-GIRL AND I LIKE IT!! and if u don't luv you. bye bye. I Really enjoy it too!!!


Entry for April 02, 2009

Hi everyone, Life is good....Too busy to post because I'm someone's Girlfriend. The body coming along. Orchi soon... Kid's left for virginia.

transitioning other's has been "relatively" easy.. I ask, I don't demand or feel that i am entitled too... Starting a new adventure at the YMCA because of that concept.

For you just starting out: It is awesome just work through the fear and kjeep plugging away at YOUR OWN PACE..Be your own WOMAN!
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Thursday April 2, 2009 - 08:59pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments


Entry for October 25, 2008
Let see Just turned 38++, 5 year sober, and i'm a perky 40c thanks to HRT. Been doing the Kid's football thingy. I love been a Football Mom!!!!

It was wonderful it took me three week to realize that everyone was using the right pronoun on the football field. What a feeling.

The Dr. and I are tweaking around with my hormones right now. Trying to get me off the pill and on to the patch or Shot's. I have three months to make a decision. My Spiro dosage is up there right now. Still have type 2 diabetes that i have to monitor which is starting to creep into my life.

I'm ok and happy. I still get on an emotional jag. The one that im on tonight is most likely due to the increase dosage. This is some of the stuff my mind is trying to torture me with:

(carwrecknewcarpaymentkids,exwifeBFworkgovmoney$$timetrippingfeelinguglynotgirlyineedtogetlaidSRS16000newjobpastpresent futurehopeifindaplacetostayinptownblahblahblah)

Oh yeah My coined phrase when someone calls me by wrong pronoun:

Hey I'm 40C and Castrated buddy!!!! what does that make me? and "IT" is better than He you Moron!!!!! (moron is said in my head)

My neighbor's brother is just the biggest asshole i ever met. He is just mean!

Off to P-Town after this Budget meeting that i have to attend being the Treasurer and all. I try to be responsible.

I'm so glad my Mentor forced me to be responsible. He told me that i could not run and I had to transition around my Kid's. As much as a pain in the ass the kid's and my EX can be. I have this sense of something something. giggles indescriable IDK.

GOD's Plan is Greater than your pain... Hang in there Emily, Melissia, Alice, Patty, Julie and you.......

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Saturday October 25, 2008 - 01:35am (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments


Entry for August 18, 2008

Let see transitioning is going well. I don't have to stuff my Bra's anymore. I found a doctor that listens to me and not just trying to take the money. I had to fire my Hairdresser because of that and she thought just because i was Trans that i had no where else to go. Her Lost.
The kids and x are still in my life. Thank GOD she did not move to Virginia like planned. My now 14 yr old and I survived him being a 13 yr old. I worry about my middle son he is in his own world somedays. My baby is still doing what babies do..
I was in a car wreck. That cost me the car and $3000 that i wanted to spend on my transition. Go figure. The new car i bought had problems on day three with Major problems.
My body tingles from head to toe. Makes me wish i was in a relationship so that i can be held. I have self confident today as i go out and about. I do meet a few not so nice people and i try not to cringe in front of them and go about my business. My voice is killing me. arrggghhhh
I hate to say it i'm drifting away from The CLUB where i started out at. IDK . When i check in i'm glad to see that one of the girl's has friend to run with and is painting the town red. YOU GO GIRL!!!
I get Emotional and it does not put me in that black pit of despair. I still wonder about ORCHI. IDK orchi or go all out for SRS. I think about it and not obsessing about it too much.
I turn 40 soon and will be 5 yrs sober. I'm transitioning ok and participating in life. It is a certain amount of fun transitioning the people around you. I'm tempted to ask for my own bathroom at work.
THANK GOD, because i could not do this by myself.
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Monday August 18, 2008 - 07:01pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments


Entry for April 01, 2008

Went to to my Convention this weekend as me. Was able to meet and greet half if not more of the people. By the end of the Convention Most people were calling me "Miss Robin". That is an awesome feeling.

I had several conversation with some curious people. the funniest thing that i heard from someone. So how do i treat you? i told them "As a girl, hon... I'm a girl.

When people mess up with the pronoun i made sure to correct them in front of other's. They were very apologetic. They assured me they will try harder next time and please give them time. I told them i will give them time but, will correct them everytime they slip. Some did not like that giggles.

It helps to have a Driver License with your name on it. I was popping that out of my pocket book every chance i got. seeing that i just got it that friday morning.

Still was scared using the female bathroom. It is getting easier. I'm ducking in and ducking out. I went to the bathroom during one of the meeting. and when i came out the stall this girl was there. I was to scared to look up. I wash my hands and then proceeded to walk back to my seat. She followed me. I almost died. (My Mind). She was Seated two row up and to the left of me.

Saturday night i worn my Sweater Dress and spoke From the podium for three Minutes. That was awesome because i was able to announce to 800 plus people that my name is "Robin Kem P".
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Tuesday April 1, 2008 - 08:31am (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Preparing

It is a lot of work and time to be TS.
Hair removal, Hair extension and name change should be happenning very shortly. Still worry about money.
Not tranny than thou much lately. quieting down from the drama of being out. I like the quiet me when i'm just Robin and going about life. It is what it is. I love the emotions of every day living. I don't like it though when i work myself up and freak out.
Work,kids and the X. Some time i cant stand the bitch and so i get to be bitchy at her. Which is wrong. She still might be going to virginia and that hurts. But, that is the future so i try not to react to the fact that my kids will be going too. May be and might.
GOD GOD GOD .. it is not about me. My precious little feeling that get me in trouble. I am a drunk first with a program. Transsexual is my Ideal Life. pg 69 in BB.
I swear it took a girl scout selling cookie to kick start the Jealousy thing. I was so mad at GOD for not being born in the right body. I was beside myself as i brought a box of cookies. Shaking and the whole bit of hating my body.
My tits are Huge. Keep getting comment from people that i hug. giggles I like getting felt up by certain people not all though.
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Friday February 22, 2008 - 10:49pm (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments


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Robin/bobbi Trans Log Full Post View | List View
IM A T-GIRL AND I LIKE IT!! and if u don't luv you. bye bye. I Really enjoy it too!!!
Just life and stuff
I'm ok and life is just going at a steady pace. Still waiting for the money to start electrolysis. Dreaming of having Orchi.
I need a tunic dress for my debut in march. HMMMM.
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Tuesday January 29, 2008 - 10:00pm (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

Happy New Year
07 was awesome!!!!
08 is going to be an maintenance year. Getting plucked, zapped and scraped. Name Change and getting use to everyone treating me like a girl.
Letting go and just being me.
The Hormones are working. I love my Rack it is Awesome. Small A. :) they look good. I screamed in the shower the other day when i saw them "I got a Pair".
I have support and keep meeting more and more people on this journey. Most people have forgotten about HIM which i like a lot. Not trying to force people to use the right pronoun.
GOD is good especially when everything is overwhelming with the emotions and decsion making. I have to remember I'm 4 year sober with an emotions of an 14 year girl.
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Tuesday January 1, 2008 - 06:18pm (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments


Entry for November 03, 2007

I'm fine with the church. A friend told me the purpose of church is to get closer to GOD. Not cause drama by coming out . So i have to learn to mind my p and q's when i return.
On another note i was taking advantage of by someone. The good thing is i cried over it and discovered something new of myself. The person who caused this lost a friend. I think the person just pulled the stunt to see if people would care. SO sorry hon we did care and now you blew it.
The ex wife did not freak out when i showed up with my hair on halloween. She is not going to change so i have to learn to step around her and be with my kids. I do what i want.
Still sober...Thank You GOD....12 step program
Work is a pain...I love the job and all..there are just some assholes that are my bosses. It is hard for them too because i am an arrogant cocky person who knows my job and i let them no that. One day the will try to put me in my place. Untill then screw them... you want that boat fix get the fuck out of my way. sorry
HRT ...The breast are still hurting. Something click in my head the other day. Perceptions changed. I been getting hit on by gay guys. I love the attention it felt kind of nice having this one guy with his arm around me rubbing my back bra strap. the bastard i had to remove his hand after a moment, it did feel good. I am an emotional vampire i'm staying out of relationship's and bed's.
They need protection from me. I am an alcoholic first.. I make the people sick around me. I'm selfish and self centered.
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Saturday November 3, 2007 - 12:00pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

review life in 30 secs
My breast started hurting...owww My friend died.... my ex-wife called the cops on me for dressing like a woman. I'm learning to just be me. It feels good to cry . IDK still sober 4 years thank you GOD. People are getting used to me. i is able to walk down the street or in stores and just be aware of me....i don't cringe. ding 30 sec review is up......................................... Oh yeah my Church suggested that i might be comfortable some where else...wtf does that mean?
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Tuesday October 16, 2007 - 09:46pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments


Entry for September 22, 2007
here we are. Just waiting for the drama to start with x. Trying to keep the focus on my kids and not me.
Let the kids play and transition. That is a lot of work and a fine line.... .... .... .... .... .
The hormones feel good as they course through my body. Changing me. All i ever wanted was to be a girl. Hips and tits i can't wait.
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Saturday September 22, 2007 - 10:31pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

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Robin/bobbi Trans Log Full Post View | List View
IM A T-GIRL AND I LIKE IT!! and if u don't luv you. bye bye. I Really enjoy it too!!!


and she calls the police sept 2007
I been divorce for like 4 years and never had the cops called on me before. I was in a interracial relationship and my kids are bi-racial which add some more drama in the mix with trangender issue. My nearest family is on the west coast and Ohio. It was a scary experience when the cops came into the house with her egging them on.
I got sic and tired of her always saying she is going to call. So i told her to go ahead. I was amazed that she lied to the cops and said i i threw a cup at her. That piss me off. The cop just ask me to leave without my kids.
She finds they way i dressed totally unacceptable now. I just debut my wig and planning on wearing it 18/7 giggles (i just posted my new look).
For the last six month she has been quiet about the nail polish on fingers and toes. My wardrobe is feminine and i have been wearing a scarf on my head for the past nine months getting everyone ready for this phase.
When i show up Tuesday she was upset. My kids came up and hugged me. She told me i can not have my kids unless i dress normal blah blah blah and all that other stuff was said.
Thursday i went to go bring my son to football practice. (the women at practice think I'm the cutest)she told me to leave. I told her to pound sand I'm taking my kids and that when she threatened to call the cops. I was done with that threat so i called her on it. I'm still pissed off Saturday afternoon that she would lied to the cops.
I have share custody so next week should be interesting. I will be bring the divorce papers when i go pick my kids up next week.
I'm a T-girl on hormones. I'm crazy with estrogen and testosterone don't know if i should fight or cry.
I am transitioning slowly the wig is just a step. Once she finds out i am on hormones that should be interesting. I digress.
WTF I'm i going to do about my three son's. I don't want to harm them and i can't live a lie anymore. I can't hide the fact that I'm not like other dad's from my children.
hmmmmmmmm ?????????????????????????????
and i have to be nice to the mother of my children for the Kid's sake.
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Saturday September 15, 2007 - 04:42pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Just another day
let see Nashville was awesome.
Work is trying. But, I come and go as i please. I have a couple of grievances out.
Breast itchy and not to moody being on Hormones. Caught my first cold.
Nothing to do that is pressing. So get to work on the voice. I'm struggling with that.
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Saturday September 1, 2007 - 05:57pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
On the road again with hormones!!!!
I'm off to Nashville, TN. I just counted my pills and i have enough till i get back. I'm still an alcoholic some habits never goes away.
The euphoric feeling that i had the first few week is going away. I'm starting to feel a new sense of normal. That the closest i can get.
As for the physical just small little tinges here and there... I have notice more saliva...I feel better if i drink 12 oz of water every 90 minutes. When i mean feel better i mean IDK ......No more erections I'm happy about that. Spiro is great.
The drama of coming out has died down alot. I'm not the center of attention anymore. drats i loved the drama after the first coming out. When i stop though it is great no one paying attention to me.
I'm happy...Just living life right now no major issues...staying close to the program. I don't want to drink and spoil this new life the MASTER has design for me.
IDK what is going on with the stock market... My tsp account just drop like $$$$. that is the money i was going to used for laser and other stuff next spring. That is the only worry i really have. I want this hair off my face.
To my friends i have not forgot about you. I'm living my life and not hiding anymore. Football has started. I have spent the last three years in the fall with my three son's on a football field watching the season change. I'm blessed that i can enjoy those short three months with them. ( drats i just made myself cry and that feels wonderful)
life is not all a bed of rose. I seem to be landing on my feet lately.
I should be packing but i figure i write this real quick.... I love life today and I love you all !!!!!!!
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Saturday August 11, 2007 - 09:54pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments


Day Five of HR!!!!!!!
Thank GOD for friends. I freak out Monday morning my mind was spinning with what if? I guess the guy in me knew he is done! I took the first hormone pill gladly.
I just remember that i was going to do some serious shock treatment back in Sept 2003 to kill the girl in me. I'm glad everything came undone me, the loveless marriage, the lie, the fear, and all the other emotional garbage we bring to the table.
So anyway My friend pick me up and brought me to the Endo office. The endo was very nice and accepting. He was amazed that i had my shit together. He made the comment "that some girls come see him right at the start and he has to turn them away" . He ask me what i wanted? To be alive at the end of this process and to be able to enjoy my re created body. He started going on about the different types of estrogen and if i had any preference. I left it up to him. He ensured me that his staff will treat me with respect and kindness as he wrote my prescription. In the hall way while the doctor was talking to the nurse i gave my friend the thumbs up behind the doctors back. i almost started jumping right there.
I'm so glad my friend drove i was beside myself. She and i went to the pharmacy to pic up the meds. She said the the pharmacist raised her eyebrow a bit when we pick it up. at that point i did not care. In the parking lot i was jumping up and down and gushing. My friend was so happy for me that it made me more happy. We went to lunch and read the pamphlet on the hormones. That is interesting reading all that with a GG.
So i took the hormones and went to sleep. That was five days ago. I have been listening to my body and have been self absorb while participating IN my life. I did give myself a headache. I have a feeling of contentment about me. I'm not aware of my penis and have not been bother with erections which is great in my book. That thing has been tormenting me for years good riddance .
I'm getting quiet and starting to blend into the background. Got to start working on my voice now. That's frustrating. I have time it will be January before and if anything is noticeable.
The cost so far is less than $500 for endo and meds.
GOD is good. GOD is giving me strenght to live a life i did not want to live because I'm a GIRL born in the wrong body. Today i get to be a GIRL with a past. I'm my own Women and i get to be me.
The great thing about being a TRANS WOMEN today is i get to make the stereotype that other girls might have to follow..... pay no attention to that ....that is my ego ;0
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Friday July 27, 2007 - 10:39pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments


I got my letter
I got my letter from My therapist. WOW......I'm Happy and looking forward to just living my life as Robin. I'm comfortable with the letter inside. I can't wait till next week when i see my endo for the first time........

WOW!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday July 18, 2007 - 02:01pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 1 Comment
!
And then she said to me.....
Hon, are you working out more.. I said some...she said your like hmmm i dont know like more girly or something...as she stares at my chest...I giggle I'm trans hon wait till next year...then we talk about lazer for like 10 minutes and the pain us mature girls have to go through to look good. I was in heaven!!!!!!!
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Wednesday July 4, 2007 - 05:45pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
The feeling
it goes from "what the fuck" to "oh my god" to "fuck it" to "what in the world i'm so confused" and so on and so on.
The greatest thing is when i finally relax and let that wall of protection down. I emerge
When i stop fighting everyone and anything. I emerge
When I emerge it feels wierd...
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Friday June 29, 2007 - 04:56pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
FROM O-HI-O
just a quick post.

father is alright was shock of the blue fingernails when he noticed. We dont talk about me at all to busy running around O-hi-O and visiting friends and family. My Son's are having a good time. A few raised eyebrows and one snotty girl child "your not suppose to paint your nails" i could of slap the little devil personally.

This afternoon was interesting we fished by a nuclear power plant...go figure..

this morning an lady was talking about the drag queen in San Fransisco my father left suddenly and this afternoon jerry springer was all with a crazy crossdresser and BS. I would had kill myself in the past before i had self acceptance if i listened and believed that shit that is on reality tv.
I suffered thru it and made no comment. That the hardest not to bring it up.

Otherwise the trip has been pleasant enough i have not gone over the top with my wardrobe. got to one meeting and tonite grilled steaks and was able to talk to someone about my GOD and how she has help me.

What hurt is this area is poor real poor.

one more day and than i will be back home with my kids. my endo appt is soon. and F jerry springer that is not how i am..

My father is just accepting me and we are having fun with three generations of us and next year will take care of it self without me pondering about it.....

pray and pray be like a child.............
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Monday June 25, 2007 - 10:02pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 1 Comment
lookoing for an endo
now this is an experience..." hi my name is .... I want to start HR....... and ... and.....That Much...you dont take insurance....... you only meet when....and ....
Everyday is a new experience of patience, love and tolerance.......
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Thursday June 7, 2007 - 11:20pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
the name changing
I'm going through the name change thingy right now..The look on some people faces are priceless.. I would like to be called Bobbi actually robin but we will tried that later..here is a cookie your doing good. Bobbi Robin bobbi robin your doing good keep it up :)
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Sunday May 13, 2007 - 06:08pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
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Robin/bobbi Trans Log Full Post View | List View
IM A T-GIRL AND I LIKE IT!! and if u don't luv you. bye bye. I Really enjoy it too!!!
on my home from freakin DC
cant wait to get home..I'm definitely know the meaning of home now!!!!My stuff and my things!!!
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Friday April 13, 2007 - 10:01am (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
The Happy Tranvestite
What can i say. Life has been easy of late. No Drama on my way to D.C. My therapist is awesome and i have hope for hormones by fall. Cant wait for that emotional ride while i adjust.
Living life and loving it one day at a time with what i got today.
got to get to the club and get some pic's of me in my wig!!!!!!
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Saturday April 7, 2007 - 01:13pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
12 years between shopping sprees
1995 i had to purge everything. i was in a lot of trouble in life and living life. I thought if i suppressed the urge and the longing to be a girl it would not interfere with the life other's expected me to live by. I made the biggest mistake in my life and it damm near killed me. I was not true to myself. The years of hurt and mental anguish of living a lie and trying to meet other's expectations did not work for me. In those twelve years the only thing that i had to make my life bearable was alcohol which quickly became the disease of alcoholism. I'm glad that is all over now for the most part. I'm planing on transitioning slowly in hope that the one's i do love will get a chance to grow and transition there false views about me. Instead of ramming it down there throats they have feeling too. Which i must respect they have a right to what they feel and i have a right to be me in whatever form that is comfortable to me.

I love being a T-girl even when I'm in conflict with other people, Ideals and such.. I'm glad i had to learn about myself before i took this path. I was not strong enough to live thru the certain hi and low spots back in 1995 due to the emotional trauma i inflicted upon myself. I caused my own pain back then with my behaviors and actions.

even way the shopping was great....I got paid and right after work i drove an hour to Glamour Boutique TG store and got Pair of colored breast forms, bras, panties, hip enhancers and i forgot what else...

And then I stop by Burlington Coat factory which was conveniently locate a mile down the street from the TG store. I got 4 blouses at 40% off....

And then while driving back home I saw a Macy's and went to go see if they had any silver bracelets they didn't but the lady directed me to the piercing pagoda in the middle of the mall. As i was walking out of Macy's i past the max foundation counter and could not get up the nerve to ask the girls there for the right foundation. (those lights in Macy's are very very bright)...

And then i was at the piercing pagoda after 30 mins i got my ear repierced...

And then while driving home trying not to touch my ear and run off the road from using the rearview mirror for other purposes beside driving i just happen by a Payless Shoe Source. Where i pick up two pairs of casual women shoes on sale (BOGO). I had to wait for two guys to leave before i grab the ones i wanted. Why do they put women 12 right by mens 14 i'll never know. They were some big guys so i waited.

And then I ended the night with purchase of 4 airplane tickets to go see my dad in June.

Today, i had the kids got to wear my new blouse it was great. paid some bills and then i brought this: (drats insert wig pic here). I saw some real nice one i think i got the sizing down and going to play with this one for a while. Hmmm, back waxed? i had my new shoes on all day and my feet dont hurt.

it felt so good pretty soon i will be done with purging my male clothes

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Sunday February 18, 2007 - 05:46pm (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
let see to shop or pay bills
Just got some funds in brought like 4 blouses already. How i would love to purchase some hips and boobs right now. Oh well pay my bills and see what is left.
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Sunday January 14, 2007 - 11:37pm (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Entry for January 02, 2007
i'm surprise that this thing work this time....usually it would freeze up when i click post entry like it did all december. hmmmm
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Tuesday January 2, 2007 - 12:35pm (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
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!
What a year!!!!
I'm doing ok with everything. I did not get what I wanted this year. I got me with all my faults. I got to learned how to be me even when the fear pops up and i wanted to react to it.
My friends and family that matter loves me and are supportive. I get to have honest relationship instead of hiding (cowering) in the closet. No words can describe that loneliness I felt for years.
What I want for this year is: Live my life to the fullest. Stay honest in all my relationship and be less judgemental of me and other people. Get rid of some more of that Fear that ruled my life for so long. Oh yeah shopping spree is plan for the end of february.
Happy New Year it is going to be interesting year!!!!! bring it on...
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Tuesday January 2, 2007 - 12:31pm (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone
Still a t-girl in training been having an interesting year. I'm learning slowly and fitting everything in my life slowly. I have to remember if i do thing quick (instant gratifications) i screw it up and get overwhelmed. My brain short circuited the other day when my sister told me that she loves me. what a shock!! I'm an ugly duckling right now but i'm enjoying me at the moment. tomorrow i will be a swan!!!
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Saturday November 25, 2006 - 05:55pm (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
time to play
Most of my commitments and obligation are over. I just dog my way through them and just show up for them. Just walking away from them and saying screw it was not an option. I had fun with the kids. Now that i have more me time it's time to socialize at the the club. I'm rested and ready to go!!!!
Limited funds but hips and wig is in the near future. I have to remember it will take a while before i have my look down. Just being me in reality and not chasing a fantasy (trying to act like the girls on the street) my feminine side just comes out even in drab mode and I'm not frustrated.
I'm a transvestite and i like it still!!! Can't wait to find my community and really start living the life.
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Saturday October 21, 2006 - 11:35pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
selfishness vs self interest
I have been having some interesting chats about selfishness from other people. Most of my life i have put my desire to be a girl aside and tried to lived by other people opinion's and put there needs and wants first. It damm near killed me. As it were i was looking at life thru the bottom of a scotch bottle when i had no more to give. I lost myself as i became the thing that other's wanted me to be.
There was no greater love than a drink as i tried to be normal. No words can describe the agony i endured as i tried to create a world that people love me for me. No unconditional love. Hurt and lonliness.
Today i get to be responsible for my life and decision. I get to be for once. My decision will hurt my family and friends and me. I hope not.
I get to take care of my needs that they don't want to understand or to be fair can't understand. They want me to be that person they made me into. Even though i felt like a doormat and unloved.
SELF INTEREST- I'm i willing to take responsibility of me and my life based on my idea's. Or be ruled by fear and other's people opinion no matter how shallow they be. HMMMMM

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Friday September 22, 2006 - 09:38pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
learning to live confortably tween both
It's great just to be me with no false pretense in either mode. I do prefer girl mode. I'm cd right now because of how my life is arranged. Every time i tried to rearrange my life this year where i can get closer to transitioning into full time drama happens. There is a emotional price to pay for drama. I have to accept that this is the way for right now. With the jealousy, the longing to be and all that other confusing stuff. It's not my time yet to be selfish. Guess what people it is not about the outside appearances. My inner self knows joy of such i have never experience. Tommorrow i will have hips and boobs.
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Saturday September 9, 2006 - 11:03pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
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IM A T-GIRL AND I LIKE IT!! and if u don't luv you. bye bye. I Really enjoy it too!!!
finally a chance to get all dolled up
i finally had a chance to get dolled up. my first time home to stay in weeks. it was nice to have time in the shower and get the stuble that i miss quick shaving (i hate hair on my body ewwww). spent a quiet evening at home in a nice jean skirt, tan cami . i got to play around with my make up to please me for once. ( i'm still a people pleaser somedays) mascara and eyeliner does not come off so easy the next morning before work. the feeling of peace and contentment was good. actually it was what i was looking for when i was running around meeting people like me. new rule for myself just stay home your tired. i just have to be me in the moment. the next day at work was awesome so many problems and i was not bother by the drama even when the evening came and i had to deal with ex. its been several month since she has told me : "to get the fuck out or i'm calling the cops". that did not bother me this time. I notice after that incident that i was glowing inside and that i have been all day. hmmmm quality not quantity. so many things to remember to express the real bobbi.
p.s. this time i didn't do anything to piss her off. she thought that she could use me as a doormat and vent her frustrations on me. NOT
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Friday August 18, 2006 - 12:31am (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 2 Comments
balance, it was a blast though

wow i have been running around meeting the girls, shopping, dressing at the club. plus all the other obligations like work, kids, and other support stuff that i do to stay sane. let me tell you i'm exhausted. now that im hurting i finally call a gender therapist i seek balance in my new way of life. one thing is when i express my girl side i'm more comfortable in the world with myself. Hmmm i think i'm going to wear nail polish all weekend and get comfortable with that in public.
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Sunday August 13, 2006 - 10:56pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
wow im having fun
my life is going pretty well, on the inside." to thy own self be true." its nice living a life i understand instead of living a life that is confusing and lonely. i have met other people like me and we share the same drama of life. its nice to be just around people who understand without me having to explain myself and my thoughts. i'm not alone anymore
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Monday July 3, 2006 - 12:41am (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
2006
i got to get a camera, but first i have to get a wig, playing around with my make up and foundation. it look great for me. blah blah blah. im in providence ri. you girls look fabulous. hugs
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Sunday June 25, 2006 - 08:09am (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
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