"I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
WHATS GOIN ON?"
I never thought I would be here. Thirty-three, and on the cusp of thirty-four. Unwed. Divorced. Still in transition. Low-paying job that barely makes ends meet. Car that's falling apart. Tiny apartment in a city I don't know. Its like I woke up and started living someone else's life. A stranger has become me.
But here's the wierd thing; against all odds, I'm happy. I genuinely wake up every morning thankful for my life, grateful to the God who made me. I'm at peace with where I am in life. I make dinner for one most nights, get asked out to the movies or the theatre, or a dinner date occasionally on weekends, play my music on my tiny little spinet piano, and rarely have a moment when I look around myself and am miserable by what I see.
I'll be turning thirty-four years tomorrow, and rather than see that as yet another year older, I'm choosing to see it as a new beginning. I am un-born tomorrow. I become a new creature. This new women can do anything she likes. She has unlimited possibilities. She can be a flirt or a rapacious seductress. She could be a gourmand, or a vegan. She might be a soccer mom or a wiccan high priestess. She can be magic. She could be mundane. She might be a rockstar, wailing onstage with the voice of a thousand Joan jetts. Tonight, I wrap myself in my quilt, snug against the chill night air, and in the morning, I emerge, cocoon-like, a butterfly. No, a DRAGONfly. I become me tomorrow.