presenting as female

Comment by Marsha M. Marsha on August 14, 2011 at 1:51pm

Of course it's deception if one is a crossdresser, if however one believes they are female it is not truly a deception now is it?

 

In any case, females have developed a fine art in deception: push-up bras padded panties, wigs, makeup, they were all invented for GG women, deception is in the Bill of Rights for women and I take advantage of that right.

 

Frankly I am seen as a woman by most women and they are right, for the ones that know my past and can't handle being around a transwoman I say stuff it.

Comment by Joanna on August 14, 2011 at 3:37pm

I agree  with you Judy. But in this case the lady thinks I am a woman and I was already down a certain path to turn back. I must admit I relish the role because it takes the loneliness out of crossdressing activity for me. Nice to interact and if no one gets hurt in the process I guess its ok.

Comment by Sindy Kay on August 14, 2011 at 5:39pm

Joanna,

I to have been spending more and more time out and about dressed.  I was very nervous at first but with each outing, shopping, restaurants, museums my confidence and the feeling I can pass has become an non issue at this point.  The story I have that was a total confidence booster for me was when I was shopping in a major department store and I had brought all my purchases to the check out counter and when I handed my credit card to to sales woman she refused to accept my card because it had my male name on it.  I looked at her smiled and at that point she put 2 + 2 together.   I was happy as a lark all day long.  Its happened a few times since then.  Not exactly the same as your encounter but life changing nevertheless.

Sindy

Comment by Jillian Munsell on August 14, 2011 at 7:45pm

Hi Joanna,

good subject, we all talk around being real and honest and yet the whole TG spectrum has its elements of deceit beginning in the the mere act of changing first name

Go figure

 

I have lots of bouts of feeling guilty while talking to a woman who fully perceives me as a woman.

I resolve it by simply knowing I must go through this process to help determine my future direction. If I can be accepted in small conversation as a woman, then perhaps this is a resonable direction for me.

Additionally, I the person enjoyed my company and I enjoy hers, then we have made a positive connection,  which may lead to future disclosure tha would be acceptable

Again - good subject

Comment by Dianne Miller on August 14, 2011 at 10:39pm

A very interesting blog.  I think one should live in the moment.  By that I mean when you are presenting as a woman in public are you thinking the whole time "I'm a crossdresser, I'm a crossdresser"?  Probably not, rather you are too busy engaging the person in front of you.  And that person engaging the stranger is the real you, a living, interesting human being.  Regardless of our gender we engage others as human beings first.  Now would this lady engage you diferently if she knew you were a crossdresser and not a GG?  I can't say.  Finally, the majority of crossdressers when out in public do more than just act as a guy in a dress and makeup.  They present themselves as females whether intentionally or not by their manerisms, etc.  Deception maybe?  But I've always thought that the art of being a cross dresser was about more than just cross dressing.  And when presenting as a female I have had some interesting conversations with GG women as just another one of the girls.  So I say smile, engage others and don't think about it too much unless you are getting into a very serious relationship.  Enjoy the moment.

Comment by Sindy Kay on August 14, 2011 at 10:40pm

Is it deception when we go out and walk amongst the living.  I don't believe any of us have any malice in our hearts when we go out dressed. Meaning we don't go out looking to hurt anyone or deceive them. What we or at least I am looking for is acceptance.  Acceptance as being the female I would like to be.  Whether I am out alone or on a date I am not trying to deceive that person or anyone else.  I just want everyone to perceive me as another female and treat me as if I was a gender woman.  If society didn't shun us maybe we wouldn't have to take on deceptive practices like taking on femme names.  All that we do in order to go out is not done to hurt anyone but rather to be accepted.  I never feel guilty of who I am or what I want to be.  The only guilt I have is when I have to change back into male mode and pretend to be happy living my life as something I am not.  I guess this topic has brought up a sore point with me

Comment by Joanna on August 15, 2011 at 1:39pm

Thanks for all the interesting feedback. I think this topic has touched a nerve with some of you but that was never my intent. I agree with all of you that in the end we are just out there as people first and that the gender is just a presentation we choose to convey how we are to communciate to the world. I am very taken with all the great comments!

Comment by JinianVictoria M. Herdina on August 15, 2011 at 3:37pm

The only problem I see is if you are a crossdresser trying to present as female.  If your transgender why is it a matter of presenting as a woman?  that is what you are!  Just go with the flow and be yourself male or female the same rule applies. 

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