The other day I was at a restaurant with my friend and there was a man at a nearby table who seemed to be watching something going on outside. My friend and I were talking about my experience in Provincetown last week and I expressed how it was fantastic being with other transgenders.
All of a sudden the guy turned to us and said, "Oh great, another dumb pretty gay boy with boobs. Just what we need."
Needless to say, I wanted to crack the guy but instead I must proudly say I controlled myself and kept my cool. Staring right into his eyes I said:
"First of all, I am not dumb. For your information, I graduated
Summa Cum Laude from Boston University, which I can tell by the expression on your face you don't have any inclination what that is so I will enlighten you. It means "highest honors". I have held positions in business that you never even knew existed.
"Secondly, I thank you for recognizing the fact that I am pretty.
"Thirdly, and more importantly, I am not gay and even if I was, it would be none of your business and I'm willing to bet that because you are not secure within your own skin, anyone who is different presents a problem and challenge to your manhood.
"Lastly, and most importantly, (here I sort of paraphrased from the movie "Rent") I am more man than you will ever be and by far more woman than you will ever hope to have."
He got all red in the face but the blank look in his eyes and the gaping mouth told me he was completely shocked and totally at a loss for words. He stormed out of the restaurant and my friend and I enjoyed a heckuva good laugh as well as our breakfast.