Now What?

Comment by Jenn on May 22, 2009 at 10:16pm

Dear Sharon Rose,

Many of us (like you and me) have known that we were TG since a young age. We may not have had a name for it at age 5 but we knew. Denying and suppressing who we are painted us into a corner that's hard to extricate ourselves from. My own TG counselor, Sandra Samons, calls it "Building our own Prison." If you go back through my blog archives here you'll find her article on the subject.

If continuing to suppress Sharon is not an option, it's ultimately between you and your therapist to figure out how to extricate you. I hope you can do it without destroying all your family relationships.

Lorraine has just blogged on her first visit to Sandra Samons. Lorraine is in a similar situation.

Sandra has seen me for over a year. She has also seen my wife alone and with me. It has helped immensely. We can now discuss fashion magazines and women's wear catalogs together and I can come and go as Jennifer. She still isn't ready to meet me as Jennifer. I can understand her reluctance. I will be a shock when she does see me.

Hugs, Jennifer

Comment by Caroline Grace on May 23, 2009 at 7:59am

Hi, Sharon

Knowing what to do next is such a dilemma. Your emotions are so dramatic at this time: You are thrilled that someone finally understands who you are. You don't want to hurt those you love. Sounds to me like the topic of several more therapy sessions to come.

You know yourself, your strength in your love and the hearts of those you love... What happens next should be something that you plan. Something that you feel "mostly" comfortable with... And I say "mostly" because for years to survive you've thought you've had to hide who you are... if you want things to be different, you've got to be willing to do things differently... otherwise the results will stay the same. Any new behavior will bring you some degree of fear, though the trepidation will probably be far outweighed by peace, calm and mental health.

It's hard to figure out... virtually impossible to do by yourself. Stay the course of thinking about all of this and you will find a way that makes sense to you... that fits your needs, your timing, your values...

And while you are looking so intently inside, remember that you have others in your life that need your attention, too. So while you should be doing things for yourself like putting fresh flowers on your table for you... and never forget to let those you love know why you them. Let them see how wonderful they are in your eyes... now is the time to let the love shine from within you...

Warmest wishes for you as you travel your path...

Dana

Comment by Janine Elyse Aronson on May 23, 2009 at 9:35pm

Sharon:
We all seek our own paths along this journey. Whatever you work out will be right for you. I waited until our last one was out of high school. Looking back, I'd say it was a mistake, but from back then it was the right thing for me. I wish you a safe journey toward whatever destination you choose. And, I'll be with you as you travel, too.
Hugs,
Janine

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