One of the big pieces of advice I got once I started talking to and with other trans women was not to become narsicistic. That was one of the few things that I heard over and over again. And it got me to thinking about what narsicism really was and how it applies to us.
When you're trans you by nature live in your own head. Wondering why your body and mind don't agree. You look for ways to deny, control, get rid of and accept who you are. Almost always in silence and shame because how society views and treats us. And then for some, those who just can not take it anymore, you come out.
Unfortunatly for our friends, family, spouses, and co-workers; this coming out seems sudden and to seemingly come out of no where. Burdened with society's perceptions of us and not knowing the years/ decades we spent trying to deal with this, they try to "talk us out of it", "cure us", or basically shove us back in the closet. Very few find acceptence the first time out.
So I think this is where the lable of "narsicism" comes. Because after the intial, seeming, rejection of our loved ones, many feel hurt and betrayed and decide that they simply have to go on by themselves for their own survival. While to our loved ones, this can come across as selfish and, yes, narsicistic.
This is simply my working hypothosis based on what I've seen and heard in my own life and from others. Maybe I'm wrong. I would love to hear your imput on this.