I have a friend, whom I've known since college... which means I've known her for a lot of years.. a lot.
She is married to my old college roommate and at the time, she was introduced to me as " Rendy.". Rendy was Rendy for her whole life, which was a nickname she got when she was a little girl. Her real name is Roxanne. About 10 years ago, she decided, she really wanted to drop the baby name, and prefers Roxanne.
Roxanne introduces herself to others as Roxanne now. For all intent and purposes, Rendy is gone, except from those who have known her her whole life. He mom still calls her Rendy, and I have caught myself doing it too.
If you noticed, so far, this story has nothing to do with being Transgender. It is a GG woman who simply wants to use her birth name.
This past weekend, it hit me. Its hard for me to make the mental change... Rendy still just pops in my head, and I have to conscientiously work to use "Roxanne" when we speak. No gender change, no radical life changing condition, and still I slip up at times.
I guess my point is - I think we need to give our loved ones a bit more leeway, when names (and pronouns) are mixed up. Its difficult to always get it right, when you have known someone as one name, then have to relearn it. We draw from all the years of history together, and its just natural to reference that which we have known for years.
Further, I now know, how important this is to her. I blew it off before as unimportant, until I wrapped my own internal thoughts about self-acceptance around it, which lead to my epiphany. This is important to her, and how she identifies herself to the world. She is not a little girl anymore, and the least I can do is respect that.