"We are One"
Moving Slowly
Sorry I am posting so late, just never seem to be able to sit for a while. So EJ and I went out last week, we spent most of the evening getting ready to go...lots of shaving and make-up and doing hair. We picked out outfits, I made her try on at least four or five outfits! She was still extremly nervous and didn't feel comfortable going in anywhere so we went through the drive thru at TacoBell then we went by RedBox and she got out of the car with me to pick a movie. While we were there a couple people showed up and waited behind us, one man in particular stood very close! She was getting really nervous, I could tell but she did great and played it cool. When we got into the car on the drive home she says..I'm a chicken, I know! I told her no you have to go at your pace and besides if I was dressed as a man it would make me nervous thinking everyone was judging me. That seemed to help a little. I know it sounds stupid but even just a driving in the car I think helps her with her self confidence. I told her don't think of yourself as a man dressing up as a women, think of yourself as you are..a women! I know thats much easier said then done though so that is why I am trying to not be to hard on her. Sometimes, I feel like I am pushing her..it's just because I know how unhappy she is right now. Believe me I'm not as selfless as I might sound..I would prefer her to want to be what she looks like to me..the man that I married but I have learned to accept that fact that simply isn't who she is and no matter how she acts on the outside, until she is able to be who she is on the inside full time she is always going to be unhappy. She did mention wanting to do another girls night the other day so I think its only a matter of time before she is completly comfortable going out dressed up! Wish us luck!
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Comment by Kathy Murdock on October 5, 2012 at 7:48pm -
I know what EJ is going through and it’s not easy, but she has a huge advantage over many others in the same situation, that advantage is “YOU”. Your willingness to support and attempt to understand her and what she is going through is absolutly wonderful. I can’t image the struggle this may be for you but you seem to be handling it much better than many wives are able to do. You impress me as being an absolute wonderful person.
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Comment by Jillian Munsell on October 5, 2012 at 8:51pm -
I recall my first time out... well, lets call it a walk to the mail box - a total of 5 ft, all on my moms front porch. I was wearing a bra, under my men's tee shirt, and I thought I would die! My second time, a walk down the sidewalk in a pair of flats, 30 ft total (15 ft down, and 15 ft back)
These are the kind of small steps we all take - but from those first few steps, I am now able to live and do pretty much anything I want. It take time and like Kathy said, EJ has such an advantage in having your support. At least she knows she is loved for who she really is, not who others think she should be.
Good job to each of you!
J.
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Comment by Erin Melissa (Lyssa) Gentry on October 6, 2012 at 12:46am -
Wow. and wow again. I had to read your post twice. I will second and third Kathy M's comments below. You are EJ's best hope for getting thru this journey in one piece. Fear can play a huge role in how our journey plays out, and if there is the added fear of losing a spouse or SO, it just multiplies the stress involved. I applaud both of you, and wish my SO could talk with you actually now that I think about it. Thanks for sharing your post Megan and remind EJ she is NOT alone and to coop a phrase 'it gets better'! Lyssa
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Comment by Erin Detty on October 6, 2012 at 8:42pm -
Your such a wonderful person, with your support and time she won't think twice about going out, my first time was scary too but the second time, it was on.
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Comment by Megan Strickland on October 8, 2012 at 1:45pm -
Thank you ladies for your wonderful comments, as always you have made my day!
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