Just missed being blog 6000!.. Wow.. Seriously.. over 6000 entries of thought, conscience, inner feeling, rants, raves, and sharing has been posted to PE. I joined when the number was around 1200, and I thought that was a big number. Thank you all for contributing so much.. and helping those (like me) who felt all alone for so many years
Me? I'm still standing. I say that because, once again, I have been tested. I lost my job 2 weeks ago, and have jumped into a get a new job mode.
What I have seen is some amazing support from friends and former co-workers who are helping me to get a new job, though resume tweaking sessions, to personal referrals to outright connection making. I am overwhelmed by those who have helped me so much.
The result is I am meeting the owner of a business for a job offer review tomorrow after working though 3 interviews.Its a small, yet strong business that is 30 years old and has weathered all the economic downturns that has closed other businesses in the last 10 years. They want to grow - conservatively. I heard of the job from a good friend and former co-worker who highly recommended me. <insert choke up here>
Nice folks throughout the company, and I sense, this is a great - STABLE place to be. I am excited for the opportunity.
I have also had an interview at another place which may also be a good fit for me, although its a much different kind of company. Higher pressure - higher rewards... yadda yadda...
I lean towards the family based business. I just think that is the place for me. The other may very well be quite exciting too however.
Coming back to how this ties to my being trans - I have had some time in these past 2 weeks to reflect on being Jillian. I have have had time in the past few weeks to be fully female without the all the other work pressures that typically come with each day. Honestly, I have so enjoyed these moments and now see myself as a person who could become full time.
This is kinda big for me. Some folks here on PE have told me in the past, that I exhibit all the traits of a person who is destined to transition. It is an apparent 'slam dunk" as it relates to me fully transitioning. I know I need to reach that conclusion for myself however. As of late, I have been socially interacting with so many in my day to day activities, including the local pharmacist, the liqueur store owner, the checkout clerk at the grocery store, the car repair guy... etc. that the only time I am feeling uncomfortable is when I need to show my ID. Even then, I'm surprisingly at ease.. saying - well - sure here it is - but its very very old.. I am adopting a what the heck attitude, and its that that I think has been the missing link. EDITORS NOTE: Do I really care that I "pass" when I see so many other women who don't give 2 hoots about how they look or act.
Today, was the first day, in 2 weeks when I couldn't be Jillian at all, let alone for most of the day, and I was indeed stressed. It's much like I have let the Genie out of the bottle, and she will be damned to be ignored and stuffed back in..
Simply - I cant ignore her voice any more. ...