"Helen,
We are generational and it pains me to see the opportunity that young ones have and waste, all in the name of " doing the right thing," which is a misnomer because " doing the right thing" is not doing the right thing by…"
"We are One"
Message in a Bottle, Answered
Yesterday I posted a photo of myself on Facebook, (pictured left)... I was in the middle of a back alley ghetto, doing phone work.
For those that do not follow my blog usually, or my posts, I will add that I am a phone tech, and it is my job to go, well, everywhere and at all times of the day, and night. As a male, I never gave (as much?) thought to this, as I do now - which is considerable.
At first, I thought it was just my usual fears of the unknown - part of transitioning. But, My fears are crystallized when I go to my managers at work for anything, and they do nothing to accommodate me as a woman - where they would otherwise (and have) for other women.
I'm not saying I or women can't do this job - what I am saying is, that the dynamics have changed for which the elements around me need to be reconsidered. If a woman is to work alone at night in an ally, a manhole or down a dark lonely country road where a cell-tower needs repaired, they wouldn't for a second think twice about sending a partner or backup or even someone else that is better fit for the geographical location.
I have asked time and time again to be relocated or given a different position in this VAST enterprise, but yet, there has been NO ONE to offer me an accommodation to do so.
After you have surgery like GRS, FFS, it takes more than a few weeks, even months to get back to even 80%. Its been 2 years for me, and in that time, I also had a revision... so really, its only been 1 year since my last round of being under the knife. I am just now getting back to 90% where I used to be physically.
Your body and abilities change after GRS. Hot flashes are horrible for some of us - I am one of those people who suffer from them and because I have Klinefelters, it is difficult to get a set regimen on my hormones to combat this constant fluctuation of endocrine. Would an air conditioned Van at work be to much to ask for - apparently, it is. That is, if it comes at the cost of taking it from someone with higher seniority.
For 11 years almost now, I have work outside in the elements - dealing with extreme conditions - no AC, no nuttin, but just sucking it up and doing it. Thats just how it is...
Well, I can't do that anymore. I'm physically & mentally failing. I know this sounds like a cop out. Sorry. Each day, I am coming home, burnt out from the stress of trying to keep up where I just can't. I can't quit cause its all we have for money right now.
The good news is, someone whom works for AT&T sent a link to my Facebook post into AT&T LGBT group "LEAGUE". Someone from there contacted me today through our internal Email inquiring if they could help and that they had connections in the AT&T "Job Accommodations" department. My response:
"...praise the lord."
Comment
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Comment by Christen Bustani on August 29, 2010 at 11:59am -
It is abhorrent for me to read how insensitive and prejudiced management can and is being to you in light of your dilemma. It speaks volumes to how much lip service is given when we are supposedly guaranteed that we will receive fair, consistent and humanistic treatment as individuals in the corporate environment.
Given that you are such a positive beacon and strong visible force both within and bridging the transgender realm I would never have expected what I am hearing. Maintain your strength of character as you do now, tiring as it can be I am sure - I am positive that you will see this through favorably given the fortitude of character and resolve I know you have in you.
And regarding hyper-pigmentation, if you would like the names of some products both Joanne and I have used to lighten up these patches which seem to form as a result of sun exposure let me know! I know that the left cheek tends to be worse for many as part of driving a vehicle with the windows down on a sunny day....
Of course, as with any of the treatments with which we have played with and found success, they require you to either stay out of the sun or to be wearing an SPF 50 sunscreen or higher as those areas which are hyper-pigmented will forever produce more melanin than the areas around them. Just another ritual to be aware of in the morning and to perform (sigh). Laser can work but has to be set just right otherwise one risks hypo-pigmentation which is worse so we're sticking with topicals now which have been very helpful.....
Hugs,
Christen
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Comment by Rachel King on August 29, 2010 at 5:52am -
I have a sense that you have felt the need to hold back something vital to this story.
That you should have to endure the mealy-mouthed, closed-mindedness of these male( you just know they are male) Supervisors is an indictment on their lack of suitability as People Managers.
I have found the empathy from Senior Managers strong for me but the empathy from Middle Managers and Supervisors with low people skills to be quite woeful.
I feel they learn this about themselves at some stage and to compensate for their lack of skills they become bully-boys.
The problem for us is, we have to endure these bully-boys, mores the pity.
Even with the safeguards in place with HR and a huge organisation like AT&T, it is still not practical to "take-on" a Supervisor, because the reality is, when the dust settles, you still have to have this Supervisor come to terms with the person you are.
In-built and in-bred prejudice doesn't disappear overnight. It is a long, if at all possible process.
I have faced it every day, as is Chloe and so far they are winning.
I know Chloe will bounce back from this. I know I will bounce back, each and every time.
Only the strong transition.
That strength is needed now Chloe, so grit your teeth and say, "The bastards are not going to beat me."
And don't ever believe any different, darling girl.
We are here with you and will share the pain with you, as we have shared the joys in your life.
If you get your transfer, I trust you will go out of your way to make it known about the bullying. It is the only way to break down those barriers.
I wish you luck, the win you have tomorrow and the win I have the day after, will eventually free us from this stigma.
We will endure.
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Comment by Trisha F. on August 28, 2010 at 9:34pm -
Chloe, I am sorry to hear about your last posting, I am sadden to hear all the issues that you are having, Just have to hold on, you are a very special person, I am proud to be your friend, Yes there alot of girls out of work, just not fair, just hope that will change soon....I been working for my self even before I transition and I am still doing it... we have have to be supportive to help each other ..... Many companies are so behind on HR for us and they really need to get on the ball with it......
Hugs
Trisha
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Comment by Dianne Miller on August 28, 2010 at 2:22pm -
Chloe,you are to be commended for being a vocal and visual supporter of the transgender community and promoting transgender awareness to the rest of the world. You are out there and are in a sense a lightning rod for the rest of us.. If you had been less of a advocate do you think your work situation would have been different with the issues you still are facing today. I only ask this because some members have blogged about their positive experiences and acceptance while transitioning in the workplace. Do you think there might be a double standard in some cases between how a quiet non-stealth transitioner is treated by coworkers and management and how a more visable transperson is treated more unfairly by coworkers and management? Again thank you for being Visable and Vocal We wouldn't have this website at PE without your efforts.
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Comment by Lana Moore on August 28, 2010 at 7:13am -
Good luck Chloe - I worry about you out there, I hope the company that claimed to be "The Right Choice" will finally choose to do the the right thing!
*hugs*
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Comment by Shirley on August 28, 2010 at 1:24am -
To me it sounds like "Pure" abuse - People can be very -2- faced / I feel for you Chloe, and my thoughts are with you - I hope that your situation will turn a whole lot better real soon / Keep smilin Kid !!
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Comment by Sherri Lynne Tancyus on August 28, 2010 at 12:49am
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Hi Chloe, This is a very painful ordeal and I'm sorry that you have to endure it. I know you have a lot of courage and you know that you have many many people here who love you and care! I'll say a prayer for you tonight and hope that relief from this burden is soon coming.
Hugs, Sherri
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Comment by Caroline Grace on August 27, 2010 at 6:51pm -
It is hard going from one physical gender to the other as far as personal security is concerned. I know that I am much more cognizant of rough situations now. Where I used to go without a second thought now scary me.
Most of us know that HRT saps upper body strength. I'm betting it does the same for legs, too. So your fear and mine are probaly well founded.
Have you considered this approach? If your doctor states that air conditioning should be used for a medical condition, under ADA that would probably be determined to be a reasonable request... especially since other staff have it in their vehicles. It may be that simple... then again that may trigger something you don't want to get into.
The good part is that others have picked up your cause and they may lead the fight... We all wish you the best and hope that everything works out...
Hugs, Caroline
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Comment by Chloe Prince on August 27, 2010 at 3:25pm -
Look carefully at the picture I posted... you can see the sun damage from the condition my doctor calls "Pregnancy Mask" aka Hyper-pigmentation. Its from my estrogen. This happens when the levels are inconsistent, and your out in the sun a lot. The damage is permanent and will only continue to get worse. I can have it bleached, but if I remain out in the sun, it will come right back. Its a permanent scar I must endure as long as I need to make a living and have no other way to do so.
I know there is MANY other Transpeople that are out of work – I know I shouldn’t complain – and I get that. But there is also another argument that you should not have to be subjected to inequitable treatment because you have been written off as “Fair Game”.
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Comment by Cheryl Jacob on August 27, 2010 at 3:23pm -
Interesting. Great pic, it speaks volumes to how you are feeling. Good luck.
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