I think for many of us the thought of men looking, peering or gawking at you as though they are looking right through your clothes provides us with two immediate mental options.
1) For most men, it is an everyday occurrence to look at women. How often will a man encroach on your private space to steal a quick view or gawk at you for minutes.. How many times has this happened? If you are driving, men who are passing in the left lane will inevitably slow down long enough to "catch a glance",maybe matching your speed to prolong the view. If you are parking your car and a man is in his car waiting ostensibly for his wife, he will follow your ass and all that is about you as you walk your way into the store. If you are at the mall it is the same.. It is in men 'to look' to mentally size you up, to look look you up and down, to make mental notes of almost every woman that comes within his view.. It is so ingrained in men they don't even think about it or realize it. It is subliminal to their conscious mind. If their goal is to just be friendly...wonderful! But I think their is something much deeper in men (not all, but IMO, most) that is primal. For the those who cannot control their primal instincts, women MUST be careful and be aware..
Women have learned from an early age to be cautious in unusual, unsecured locations, or in the presence of overly ambitious men, especially if it is late, or you are alone, or become aware of men who have been gazing at you, lest they decide to let their alcohol take control..
I bring this up because as women (whatever your current marker) WE are thrown into this environment, not having the advantage of lifelong 'security training'. In addition, we carry with us the "Scarlet Letter" in our mind and on panties, "T".. To a great extent (at least for some), we are walking around being constantly reviewed, graded, and even mentally undressed by a man's forlorn longing eyes. But for us there is more. We have to Ask Ourselves, "Are they looking at me, sizing me up because I am a T woman? We let our fear capture our minds and emotions making it even more difficult to be the beautiful person we are... Call it confidence or lack of confidence. Either will affect how you act and interact in the world.. with both men and other women..
For those of us who are or have been Public speakers, you may have spoken to many large groups for years, but for some reason on this particular day as you prepare to begin, fear begins to creep in.. you can feel it coming and you are trying to adjust but it set's itself right on your vocal chords squeezing them like a lemon going into a bottle of Corona (which used to be cheap beer). Or maybe your are a musician singing and playing a finger picking ballad in front of a large crowd... fear begins to creep in for some unknown reason.. it arrives. Your pickin' fingers can't find the strings, and when they do they are shaking... what is happening you ask yourself.
T women do carry an added burden, and that is the fear of being found out, maybe even thrown out, and if we cannot manage that fear and overcome it.. it will affect everything about us, how we interact and react, how we walk and talk, how we build relationships. I love the old saying, "You have nothing to fear, but fear itself". It is so, so, very true. Anyway, just a few random thoughts for a hot as hades day.. J
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