Lots To Figure Out

Comment by Erin Detty on October 24, 2012 at 1:55pm

Take on only one thing at a time and remember none of us are perfect. Its easy to pick on ourselves and serves no good purpose, that will only make things more complicated. Keep it simple, love yourself, its rarely as bad as we think it is.

If I had to guess your having problems with your wife, your being a bit cryptic so I'm sorta taking a guess, a Marriage and being Trans is in most cases equals a struggle, sometimes a big struggle. If you need to talk it out, your more than welcomed to PM me.

We have all at one time or another been where you are at in this moment, trust me, I have:)

Comment by Chelle Munroe on October 24, 2012 at 7:05pm

I agree, take it one step at a time but most importantly start with loving yourself.  I've been married and we went through the whole gamut so I know it is not an easy path.  For me, the light was there all the time I just had to get used to seeing it and accepting it for what it was that I am a woman. Plain and simple.  All of us are different and all our situations are different yet in so many ways similar.  Erin said it perfectly that we have all been there.  She is not the only one should you wish to talk.  There are so many good people on this sight who will be more than happy to help you along, but remember, it will be you who will have to make the decisions that are right for your life.  Wishing you the best.

Comment by Julia Giannopoulos on October 25, 2012 at 8:43am

Karen,

It is natural for the mind to seek an area free of stress and conflict, If your not careful, the very issue your facing that's in this thread will be placed on the back burner and sacrificed on the alter of keeping the peace.

You must either on your own or preferably with a therapist, figure out what exactly you are.

OK, so you have figured out that your transgendered, that's like saying I'm a human being without clarifying what subset of human being you are. Chinese, Hispanic, Caucasian, etc.

Are you thinking you might be transsexual? If so then you must claim that and move forward with it.  

If you don't know then figure it out.

No one, not your wife or your peers will take you seriously if you, yourself don't know with 100% certainty what the hell you are.

I lost my spouse at the time due to my transition so I am very well versed in this matter.

I am now married again to a wonderful woman that identifies as lesbian.

The journey from 2006 to now has, at times, been hell punctuated with more hell.

Life is good but first you must figure out who you are and what exactly your going to do to in order to do whats best for all involved.

What is NOT best for all involved is to have a person that needs to be her true self compromise in order to live a facade.

You will never be satisfied with life until you work this out and be selfish enough to be the best for yourself and your spouse.  

Comment by Elle James on November 1, 2012 at 12:08pm

I think Julia has very good advice.  I"m there too, still with my spouse and trying to figure out what I want and need to do.  It's not pretty, not at all. 

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