I'm confronting the potential and real loss of my male self.
As I continue transition, I have lost muscle and my body has become more feminine.
My face is changing and my hair longer.
As a very athletic and competitive swimmer, I have watched my strength wane and speed slow down.
As an attractive 40-something man, I wonder how much I will miss the women's attention.
As a father, I've shared with my daughter. I'm experiencing her readjustment to the "new" me.
As a man living behind the "facade" I'm experiencing the loss of that "comfortable" place.
As I look more closely and seriously about joining the female culture, I wonder how much I will like it.
As I get closer to the border, my fear grows.
I suppose this is to be expected?
The unknown still beckons.