Well after transitioning for almost 7 months now and 3 months full time. This is the first time i've been an emotional wreck and feel beaten and alone. I currently have 3 weeks left on my unemployment which if I don't find a job by then I lose the home that I share with my ex and my kids. My kids will lose their friends and school that they love. I will also lose my ability to see my kids every day because right now the only option I have is to stay at a friends house on his couch and there is no where for the kids. My wife will more than likely move in with her parents our sister which is an hour away.
I just feel very alone right now and even my local support group has tried to be there for me but as they have told me that none of them have been married or had kids so they don't have much in the way of advice. Also things between my ex and I have gotten pretty bad lately since she's been dating someone since we separated a few days after I went full time and she hasn't been home at all to be with the kids. It's gotten so bad that the kids have out of the blue started calling me mommy. I just feel so helpless and scared for them because they won't be able to live with me. I'm scared the most for my one son who has asperger's and that he will lose the help that he has been getting at his school. He has made so much progress and it pains me to think he won't get the help he needs.
I've also been dealing with my parents constantly putting me down by saying i'm not doing everything I can to get a job to provide for my kids and that if lose the ability to see their grandkids that they will disown me because they say I could have prevented all of this.
Right now i've come to terms with losing everything I had but what i'm trying to come to grips with is how to start over again and be able to be there to provide for my kids and give them everything they need.