Hi, life has been fun this past week for me, I have been extremely busy with work but I have also paid a good visit to my therapist. About time I would say, since then I really don't feel that fear I had prior to the visit.
Everything about about what I wanted feels soo clear now. I feel strong and I feel extremely confident that this is the path I want to take in my life. I never have been so in touch with myself inside as I have been this past week, digging deep with my childhood and my feelings that I never would have ever thought about, of why I would do the things I would do.
As for growing up I have been very hidden with myself for the longest time in my life, feelings I couldn't talk about or explained from the age of 10ish. All these feelings I had to suppress, I guess if I didn't have so many life traumatic changes in my life such as my fight with cancer at the age of 23, or the bad relationships from the women in my life I would thought of to be the one, I would of been on this life changing journey sooner in my life. But as I always say it is what it is, I can't change the past but lately I have been quoting "Life is simple, just have to make a choice and don't look back" and lately I have been trying to keep my life simple.
I would have to say that my journey has truly begun in a fashion that I have finally opened my Pandor's Box, and reminiscing the old days of my youth uncovering some mysteries and a lot of questions I had that came from the old days.
I know this journey is a long and it can be a hard and difficult road but even my therapist have even said to me that I really show no shame in this decision and I question why would I feel shame in it? because I understand my path now, and instead of keep fighting I am surrendering to it and embracing it.
Anyways thought I would give an update about what is up with me as and I have been dying to blog about what I am currently feeling as I am working this long night shift. I just can't get over how I feel, it's a different kind of happiness I never felt before it really feels like a huge weight was lifted and a sense of freedom just opened.