"We are One"

It's a beginning

Last night was not only a great evening for Helen, it was a real treat for me as well. About ten o'clock, my phone came on showing I had a message. It was from my sister, which surprised me as we haven't spoken for some time since my family became aware of my transitioning.

She inquired on how I was doing and how the hormones were working and was I experiencing any difficulties.
After telling her I was okay and feeling great, she asked how I was being treated because she was worried about my safety. Again, I told her things have been great and decided to send her a picture. I sent one and said, this was at my friend Linda's. My sister wrote back -- "Is this your friend?" I sent back, it was me.

Her response was, "OMG, I didn't even recognize you!" Then she said, "You look happy."

Without boring everyone with the entire conversation, I felt so happy at that moment because it was a beginning. I have respected my family by not pushing things in their faces and have resigned myself to the fact that they may never accept me, so last night's conversation with my sister was a bright moment in my life.

I know that one conversation is not a guarantee things will make a turn for the better and complete acceptance but it is a beginning. I also know that my sister sees things from a different point of view than my brothers -- wherein lies the reality that my entire family might not be so supportive.

When I have visited family, it has been as their brother so they have not seen me as me. I do know for fact that if I showed up on their doorstep as my true self, the door would not even be opened to me, so I've placated the situation by not pushing the envelope. However, the time is coming when I won't be able to do that anymore. I am "me", and I am -- "who" and "what" I am --- I'm a woman and I'm Chelle and if they decide to sever the relationship with me, then it will be their doing, not mine. I can live with that. Especially as I make new friends and develop relationships that are like an extended family.

"IT"S A BEGINNING!"

4 members like this

Comment by Chelle Munroe on November 1, 2012 at 11:52am: So true. I'm not really expecting any miracles for sure because I honestly don't believe they will be able to handle it, especially when they are concerned with "image" and "what will the neighbors say" type of attitude. But it would be nice if they did accept. A girl's dream. Thanks for sharing.

Comment by Elle James on November 1, 2012 at 12:02pm: Very impressive. I don't have your courage, not even close. Way to go girl!

Comment by Julia Giannopoulos on November 1, 2012 at 1:17pm: Chelle,

I lost my sisters because of transition so your post is quite meaningful to me. I hope and pray you can keep the relationship you have going with your sister as positive as the phone call you have told us about.

Perhaps you can post further positive contacts with her here so I can live vicariously through you.

Comment by Erin Detty on November 1, 2012 at 2:58pm: Bring rejected by Family Members, "Sisters" has been the only thing that has truly hurt. I remind myself that my relationship with them has always been complicated before any Transition, there is no reason to think this would change.

Some people are just unhappy cold and hateful. When someone says to me "I'm there for you" its like a warning, its just there, sad. My Sisters are really the thing I have let hurt me to date.

I really hope for you that this is going to lead to more wonderful times, be careful and protect your hart. Let them chase you. I tried too hard, I chased them and learned from it.

Comment by Dal Maxwell on November 1, 2012 at 6:35pm: Chelle - You are so right; it is a beginning. It's actually a lot of them. Just ride it out and see what happens. I know that I used to project outcomes and was sometimes devestated by the outcome I got. Now, it doesn't matter. And I do have one sister to whom I was extremely close who may never speak to me again. Her loss! Take it all with a grain of salt and go about your business. And good luck if it turns out well!

Comment by Chelle Munroe on November 1, 2012 at 7:32pm: Thank you ladies for your responses and encouragement and support. It is such that I spoke of when I said about extended family. We have each other in the good and bad times and to me, that is what it's all about and what makes it all the more precious.

For those of you who have lost relationships with your siblings, my heart goes out to you. I truly understand your situation, although I haven't received a definite result yet with my family. When I decided to fully transition, I was aware of the consequences that could take place with my family and because of that, I am somewhat prepared for the separation should it come. It will still hurt I know, but my feeling is, if they love me then they will have to love me for me, not love me the way they feel I should be.

Again, I thank all of you for your input.

Bunches of hugs,

Chelle

Comment by Jamie Robin Gardner on November 1, 2012 at 9:19pm: My family has not met the true e yet. That changes Tuesday morning. I am going to meet my sister-in-law. It will be nerve racking for me and for her, also. My family is all older than me by 7-12 years, so we are talking mid 60's to early 70's. they will to call me Jamie, use man, sir and guy as nouns. I try to give them space, but also expect them to respect me. I'm glad your sister called nd that you had a good conversation.its a start.

Comment by Brianna Allen on November 2, 2012 at 2:00am: Dear Chelle:

Wonderful. You know the saying about the journey of a 1,000 miles begins with one step. You and your family on your your way.

xx

Briana