In 2003 my wife first learned of my gender issues and flipped out. We have been making things work since then. In 2008 I attempted suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills because I didn't want to deal with my issues anymore. I wanted to be done I wanted out. I spent a week in the psych ward for that. Fast forward to now I still deal with depression and suicidal thoughts at times. Where I am now when my wife let me know how she felt and just how much I have hurt her really hit me hard. I went for a really long walk and cried. This had got to be a dream and I will wake up soon. This can't really be happening. It isn't a dream and it is happening. It is my fault for trying to stick it out in 2003 and trying to live a normal life. I couldn't own up to being a transsexual. I can't be one. I can't do it again and try to tough it out anymore. I so want to stay with my wife because she is my rock and the most outstanding person I have ever met. She is beautiful inside and out. She is a keeper by anyones standards. I am never going to be able to stop being trans. As painful as it is we will have to part ways and it kills me to do it. She is going to give me time to save up enough money to move out on my own. I can't lie to her or myself anymore. I will have to start over and start an entirely new life at the same time. I am afraid but capable. I will do what I can with what I have and move on. She intends to share custody of the kids so I am grateful for that. Having been in psychiatric care before she could totally deny me any access to them and a judge would rule in her favor. She knows I have been a good dad and I love my children. I believe the world needs to know that trans people can be good parents in spite of their struggles. I have no doubt that my kids will have a hard time with this and be teased about their dad becoming a woman. Kids are just mean to each other in school. I hope to instill in them a sense of knowledge that the person inside is what matters. I also know that I could be posssibly facing a very lonely future as a trans-woman. My wife says in five years I will probably regret all of this. I don't know.