It was actually inadvertent that I ended up listening/watching the live stream from Pink Essence Sunday night, August 19th. I think I expected the usual rah-rah rhetoric but was pleasantly surprised to hear what she thought and had to say. The part that most struck me was her statement that we will never be women in the same exact capacity that natal women are. Much as we may want to, we will never bleed, bear children, or go thru evolutionary puberty. I think that we, all of us, really should accept the fact that we can work towards being who we believe in our hearts that we are, but that there are still limitations to what we will be able to accomplish.
We will never be little boys or girls other than as designated by our physical birth characteristics and our birth certificates. I think that we shouldn't spend so much time creating false pasts to substantiate pasts that we don't own. It is time consuming, it is lying, and it just disctracts us from the real task at hand; mastering how to better live the remainder of our lives as we perceive ourselves; in my opinion.
I also think that it would be nice if we got a better shake in the deal. I, as much as anyone else, wish for certain things. But I also am ever mindful of the saying to 'be careful what you wish for'. Sometimes I think we need to accept the limitations of what is do-able and what is not. I had my moment of jealousy and anger back in 1989 when, on a lovely picnic near our home in Vermont my now-ex told me that she was pregnant. I was both overjoyed and distraught, thinking 'why can't that have been me?' But it couldn't, it can't, and it will never be. So I live with what I can do, most of which is to find a good place and be there. Sacrifices? Sure! Contentment? Absolutely! (with enough clarity and hard work!)
Lastly, I want to opine on something that many people state are their desires; there is no try in transition. It is do or don't do. I firmly believe that it is not a particularly healthy thing, emotionally, intellectually, or environmentally, to 'dabble' in transition. You may hate me for saying this but if your personal life is not conducive to transitioning and your family/spouse/partner/friends/employer/whomever would not be supportive of you and your biggest fear is losing that (part of your) environment, then why play with fire? So many of us fear looss yet put our own feet to the flames. Why? Is there a self-destructive element to your existence that won't allow you to settle at any point, to the detriment of your own well-being to say nothing of those close to you?