how soon is too soon ?

Comment by Erin Detty on June 29, 2012 at 8:36pm

 I think I should have had FFS done first, I believe it would have been better all the way around for me in my transition, that is with hind site being 20/20 and that's alright I'm fine with how things are working.                 What ever is first or last on a girls list is really up her:) 

Comment by Keri Ellen Abrams on June 29, 2012 at 10:19pm

When to go is totally up to you. And yes, you need to go to one that is VERY experienced in FFS. There is a link here on PE that has lots of good stuff on the various surgeons.

If you are questioning on whether to have FFS first or not, think about this. What do people see first when you walk into a room?

Good luck,

Keri

Comment by Chloe Prince on June 30, 2012 at 1:34pm

In my opinion, both as a Trans woman, and someone who works for a Plastic Surgeon as their patient coordinator, I think FFS is probably the most important thing you can do for yourself "to pass." 

FFS is a series of procedures, that when combine, we call "FFS"...  kind of like a buffet. You pick and choose the different procedures you need to accomplish the desired result. Not everyone needs the same things.

We are going to be having Dr. Kathy Rumer, a board certified plastic surgeon on our LIVE call in webcast show, July 8th at 9pm Eastern.  The show will be here on PINKessence's front page. Write down your questions, and call in to the show and ask them, or type them in the chat room during the show and we will answer them.

Comment by Krista Wigley on June 30, 2012 at 3:14pm

im a trans supporter and was at one time a f2m but in my experiance i like a persons voice as is dont matter if its deep or high or even squeky what matters it whats within and anyone  not  willing to see that isnt worth anyones time

Comment by Chloe Prince on June 30, 2012 at 3:22pm

I lived 32 years with a female voice, and male's face.  The voice I have now, is the same voice I had then. The only time I was mistaken as a woman, was when my voice was heard, before I was seen by someone (Phone, or in the drive thru at McDonalds, etc).  But when I was seen, no matter how I sounded, NO ONE ever thought I was a female.  It wasn't until I had FFS that the "sir'ing" stopped. 

Voice is important, but you can choose the moment you use your voice... however, you can not always predict how you will be seen by everyone when you walk in public.  If you pass visibly, you can slip seamlessly through the streets, grocery store, and go about your business, without being targeted for violence and discrimination.

Comment by Krista Wigley on June 30, 2012 at 3:29pm

maybe im diffrent i just accept others as a whole and dont judge if someone comes at me dressed as a chick then thats what ill think if someone comes at me a dude then so be it i just dont judge on voice since im gentic femle and have a deep voice myself i love everyone

Comment by Erin Detty on June 30, 2012 at 3:54pm

Denee, you are beautiful and I love to read your Blogs 

Comment by Julie Moravia on June 30, 2012 at 4:08pm

Being that I desperately want to have FSS, I have given this a lot of thought. Tee soon if you are not ready to live full time female, too soon if you are still worried about someone you care about finding out, i.e. you are not out with everybody yet, too soon if you are not out at work, unless, of coarse, you are planning a shotgun approach to coming out with all of the above when you make your first appearance after your surgery. I would definitely do the laser or electrolysis for facial hair first, however. If one has a particularly masculine face, it wouldn't seem a good idea to have a boob job before FSS and, I have to agree that one might consider working seriously on voice tone, inflection, and mannerisms, all of which can be done at little or no expense, before FSS. Personally, I wouldn't want to have all of the other attributes of "woman" with a deep, male voice. I also think it would be wise to go to a surgeon who has experience with FSS.

For me, the big question is, how old is too old for FSS. I had chosen the doctor and clinic I thought I was going to go to for FSS and SRS and some other "body work" and found out that, by their rules, I am too old.

Comment by Danielle M. Bergan on June 30, 2012 at 4:26pm

Like everything it is a choice. I let the hormones work and within a year after I began transition it was rare I was mistaken as once being male by anyone I did not know. I was even asked by a MTF who was beginning her transition where I had my FFS done? I didn't, I guess I was fortunate.

My transition was very public, on an island, leaving a high profile job in the community to work for a woman who just considered me the best person for the job. It did not matter to her I was transsexual.

I think the voice is the most important. I met a MTF in Texas at Electrology 3000 who had FFS, breast augmentation and SRS surgery. She said hello to me and this deep male voice came out of her mouth. It was sad to see and hear. Your voice speaks your authentic self. Developing a good female voice is simple, it just takes time...like everything else. Unless absolutely needed I don't think facial feminization is a great idea.

 

Comment by Danielle Reneta Prescott on June 30, 2012 at 5:19pm

I'd like to respectfully disagree and dismantle the entire concept of "passing", but it is a compelling and complex issue. However, it's your body, you have the right to do whatever you want to do to it.  However, FFS, as well as many other procedures are followed by issues of financial and economic inequality, and it has a tendency when people use tropes like "passing" to alienate, divide, construct and reinforce harmful stereotypes for women (trans and cis).  You shouldn't get surgery to "Pass" because of the horrible logic in it's insinuation, and because it sets up a horrible precedence.  Passing in essence is a form of "erasure" of those with non-conforming bodies and appearances.

Transition isn't about passing and the intense focus and amount time and money people spend on superficial beauty is more than a little troubling to me.  So many women, like myself and others, are lucky to afford SRS as some point in their life, much less FFS.  This line of thinking sets up a principle of privilege, thus producing discrimination, and a community wide bias that drives a wedge through it's heart.  It is not to undermine the profession surrounding FFS as I admire them for helping fulfill the dreams of those who want/need it, but I'd say to avoid it until you can love yourself without it.  People give me flak about my looks, to say "You don't need it" so you can feel that way about it.  However, the very concept of "Passing" and "giving tips to those ends" demeans and derides each an every one of us. 

I have been there though.  However, I don't pass, many women don't Pass (as in met the cultural expectations for women).  I am not trying to "be anything" or "convince anyone".  Whether or not they see me as a woman relates to the beliefs they have as people being projected on to me.  I understand the safety issues facing transwomen.  For some trans women out there especially, whether people notice or overlook them can be a matter of life or death. The way our culture genders us is very problematic, and ultimately wrong.  It is why it is my goal to shoot down thinking that emphasizes beauty and passing tropes.  But, you should be under no obligation to match other peoples standards of beauty.  As I said, in the end transition isn't about passing. 

Passing contains the concept that you are deceiving or fooling someone.  I am fooling no one, other peoples perceptions are not my responsibility.  I think that being comfortable in yourself is far more helpful to transition than surgery is (excluding GCS).  Surgery is not the answer, ending the principle that forces us and discriminates against us is..  FFS, GCS, Voice Training, et cetera should be about what "you need/want" not about what is the "cultural expectation".  The judging of women on their beauty is sexism, and it is wrong. It would be wise for all to remember this about "passing tips" and "femininization recommendations".  If woman is your identity then no amount of surgery is going to make you any more woman than you already are.  However, your body is your canvas, so do with it as you see fit.

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