"We are One"

Happy, Exhausted and kinda wired...

It all ties into the same thing really...

Hubby needed a quadruple bypass and 2 Atrio-Septal Defects(holes in his heart, congenital) closed. The ASD's he'd been born with, the blockages had many possible causes including long term high dose hydrocortizone treatment and a Southern diet. Hard to say which one is worse, but according to his cardiologist he should already have "Expired".

I know, makes him sound like a carton of milk or something. It was a pretty stark choice of doing nothing and having a max of 7 or 8 years at the absolute best, or having the surgery and maybe getting another 35. Well there were a few bumps in the road, the Great BugWar Saga, etc, but...

0530 Tuesday morning, we arrived to get hubby checked in for surgery. Now for most people that would be a tad early. Not so for us, I work nights and bedtime is around 0600, so it was really late. We'd done our crying on each other for a few hours before it was time to leave. By 0630, the prep nurse whisked him off for shaving. I had a moment of pity for her.. contemplating the imminent loss of her tools within a forest of fur...

Apparently she managed the task quite efficiently, because all too soon she called me in to see him before they went off to surgery. I managed not to cry on him but I did have to take a few minutes in the room before I could go back out in public. For the next 7 hours I did whatever I could manage to distract myself from the idea that I just might leave the hospital a widow. It didn't work very well, although I think it did help a little to share a waiting room with other families, I didn't cry as much as I probably would have had I been alone.

When the nurse came out to tell me that he was off the coronary bypass machine and they were closing, I was not able to hold it together well at all. So after about the 5th go at makeup repairs he was finally out and the surgeon told me all went very well. Another 3 repairs later I was able to see him, still asleep but ALIVE!!!

After another 3 hours they woke him up, he was fully coherent, enough to grumble at me not to be openly affectionate. Given that the ICU staff had it right, that I am his wife(Although I did have to sort a few of em out that I wasn't his daughter... I can't say I was offended.), they didn't find my behavior at all odd. I any case, After I had a chance to talk to him and manage to not cry on him too much I sorta had an adrenaline crash and since there wasn't anywhere for me to crash, had to go home.

Sleeping turned out to be a not possible thing, so here I am...

3 members like this

Comment by Jillian Munsell on October 17, 2012 at 5:16am: Sounds like the worst is now behind you and you both can rest..

Continued good luck and quick recovery for him..

Jillian

Comment by Marsha M. Marsha on October 17, 2012 at 8:15am: Abbey I am happy that all worked well and I pray you have many happy years together

Comment by Dal Maxwell on October 17, 2012 at 11:43am: :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Comment by Chelle Munroe on October 17, 2012 at 1:12pm: It's always a good feeling when someone shares good news. I'm happy that things have gone well and will pray they continue to do so for all involved. Get some rest, sounds like you really deserve it.

Comment by Donna Meyer on October 17, 2012 at 2:11pm: Glad it went well. Hope you can get som rest.

Comment by Caroline Grace on October 18, 2012 at 4:41am: So thrilled that you traded some rest for hearing such good news! And I am very thankful for your story on many levels. You have found love and that is a very powerful story for many here to hear... Women share and transgnder folks have been very skilled at not sharing for most of our lives, so you are teacching a lesson. This one of the things we have to unlearn and apparently you have accomplished that as well. Being called a daughter is also something women go through, so I had to chuckle. No one believes I am 58 in a 3 months, so when I has a 40 year old hitting on me the other day I had to tell him I was old enough to be his mother. If I was with a guy, I'd want one older than me. I think they appreciate life better and probably would appreciate me more. So your blog just reminds me to prep for those kinds of moments if I end up going that way.

Hope you got some sleep...

Comment by Caroline Grace on October 18, 2012 at 5:25am: Oops forgot something: You mentioned shaving here. Have I ever shared that the best shaver for trangender gals is a 6 blade razor found at CVS pharmacies? You can find these in the women's shaving aisle and the brand is CVS' own. I have gone full time without electrolysis or laser simply because these work so well. (hahahaha, Jillian, you didn't think I was going to stop plugging them, too, simply because you shamed me with your terrific blog?)

Comment by Julia Giannopoulos on October 18, 2012 at 8:11am: Abigail,

Remember that in times of greatest challenge lies clarification of many things.

Pay attention to those things and both of you will be stronger separately and more importantly stronger together.

Comment by Galina Edwards on October 19, 2012 at 1:08pm: I am glad He is recovering and I will say a prayer for his continued recovery. This health issues of our loved ones brings out emotions in us and you have done well.

You story reminds me what may be in stored for me. On Nov 10th I am marrying the love of my life and he 11 years older than me. Like you, I accept the responsibility of being in love and knowing what may lay ahead does concern me.

My thoughts are with you, Hugs, Galina

Comment by Shelly Pladsen on October 20, 2012 at 6:06am: Abi I am so happy that this everything this week went well for you and hubby. We have chatted several times about your concerns. Well you both crash emotionally now. Peace and health for your future together.