Getting ready for Thanksgiving with everyone except my family

This will be the first Thanksgiving in my new home in Maine and there is going to be a house full. My partner jan has invited her family to come, it looks like there are going to be 20 people squeezed into our mobile home for dinner. It was my idea to have people over so I get that I should not be upset. Yet somehow I do have a problem. No one in my family is coming. The site distance, money, time etc but I really feel it is also that while I am accepted as who I am I am not 100% accepted. That saddens me.

Many of you know it is also the anniversary of my ex wife Sandy's death. She expired on November 27TH 2010. I still love her, I wonder if a time will come that I don't. I would give anything or everything to have her back here and with me. Sadly that can not happen so I am having Thanksgiving with someone elses family. Fun? Joyous? We will see. In many ways I am looking forward to the food and socilization. In some ways though I just want to be alone to contemplate.

How is everyone else coping with the holiday?

Blessed be