I have had an interesting experience the last few weeks.........
Do you know how frustrating it can be when a friend/coworker/family member uses the wrong gender pronoun? For most girls it generates anything from frustration to anger when you get "HE'ed" instead of "SHE'ed"..... and rightly so. You are on a new path - one where your interior & exterior gender match, and by others using the correct pronouns it shows acceptance & support......
Well, i received an email the other day from my "adopted" step daughter. I lived with her mom back in the 90's & helped her grow up from the age of 4, to 12. I was the only dad in her life & loved her as my own, but her mom got a new job out west & they moved away. As time went on we lost touch, but she was always in my mind, as i had hoped she was doing well & enjoying life.
As i said, i received an email from her the other day... she is 22 now, and trying to figure out what life is all about............... and she told me she wants to transition. She is seeing a therapist & most likely will soon be on HRT..... but i find it odd, that for the life of me, i can't get the gender pronouns right!
I have been trying to figure it out..... why i have no problem meeting someone new & getting the HE & SHE right, or even when i have met an old friend i have no issue at all - the SHE's, and HER's come from my mind completely freely, requiring no subroutine to add them in... it is completely natural.
But i continuously am tripping over SON, HE, HIM, etc when it comes to this person who means the world to me. Maybe because i have the mind full of memories? Maybe i'm not convinced it is the right decision? Could it be i'm getting old & am a creature of habit?? I feel bad that i could not just "flick a switch" and start using the correct pronouns with him.
Of all the people in his life, i would think i would have the easiest time adjusting to this!
Don't get me wrong, I am going to support his decision, as this is a path he has to walk, I love him the same no matter what & he know that... i feel it will just take time.
Has anyone else has a similar experience?
thanks for reading,