Ok. Folks. I finally have it... I have been playing on the dating sites and their criteria suck... and not in a good way... When you are trans, what does gay or straight, lesbian or bi, butch or fem, top or bottom really mean? And what do I want? Well here is my attempt to answer all of these questions and more...
150 years ago, this was not necessary. If you were born a woman everyone could assume a large number of things about you that was different than if you had been born a man. But our understanding of gender and sexual preferences have evolved so greatly that none of those traditional norms hold.
Gender Expression is a term use to describe the gender behavior one might perform if he or she knew there would be no social backlash. The Gender Expression of 150 years ago was assumed to be much more narrow than it is today. Boys were the providers, leaders and dressed in pants. Women were the homemakers, dress wears, and followers. None of these stereotypes hold true anymore. So how do we begin to understand our own unique gender expression? Our personal gender identity? How do we communicate it to others? How do identify the gender expressions that we are attracted to?
The Gender Expression Matrix attempts to sort ones gender expression against 6 different criteria.
1. What genitals do you have
2. How do you present yourself to the world
3. Do you appear to be hard or soft
4. Are you a leader or a follower
5. Do you prefer to be the penetrator or the penetrated
6. What genital do you prefer your partner to have.
Reading from the bottom of the chart up, I am a:
Pre-op Transexual, representing as a soft woman who only leads when needed (like now). And I’ll leave the last to preferences to your naughty, collective, imagination...
(so much for the days of posting that I am a SBM...single black male) I am not totally sure what I like, but I now have a map to compare...
Folks, what are your thoughts on this? Are there more criteria?