When I first scheduled my Facial Feminization Surgery last June, I though that the time would drag on making me very impatient ! In the last 3 months, all the pieces of the puzzle started falling into place without any snags ! The timing for coming out to HR at work never seemed to be right , and I thought there were going to be a lot of very embarrassing questions that would make me want the floor to open up and swallow me up . On the contrary , there was none of that at all ! Instead was understanding and comments telling me that I have been looking very happy with myself lately and nobody knew the reason why , only that everyone liked the person I have become ! I have a very dear friend that has taken me under her wing, and she will be there for me when I have my surgery . She is also going to be there with me while I am recooperating and is really making it comforting for me , because she had gone through it all years ago ! My confidence has really blossomed , and it shows thru my pictures ! I have become a very happy and content person , something that I never thought would ever happen ! Never in my wildest imagination would I ever have thought that I would have all the friends that I have now ! I guess they all see my inner self starting to show thru , and they like that person , and want to be friends with ! I had made friends last June at my First Be-All , and plan on attending year after year for as long as I can ! If I never attended my first one , I would still be a depressed , unhappy , and very lonely individual with no sense of direction ! Now , I know who I am , what I want for myself, what I expect to get out of life , and I an hoping to help other girls like myself that had no-one to share their inner most secret ! The only thing I am hoping for is the day that my mom is willing to meet and accept me , as I know that she would really be happy with the person I have become ! My name is still going to be the same , only spelled differently as I wanted it to have individuality ! It is going to be changed to SuzAnne Marie Italiano . I just chose to change my last name to not make waves for unknowing family members , as it could be very imbarrassing to them ! June will be the end of one rough chapter in my life , and my new life will just be starting !