Excited and scared

Comment by Ayana Lynn on June 17, 2011 at 11:20am

Well the relationship between me and my gf is just a bit rocky because of the whole children aspect. That's why I told her about doing IVF, but she doesn't believe in that. She supports my transition, but wants me to wait because of the so-called need to get married and children. most likely it'll fail and I might be either thrown out or living with a friend. Idk

Comment by Nicole Aime on June 17, 2011 at 1:18pm

Ayana, I've already said my piece in your previous blogs. Please figure out how to do this on your own. It's the only loving thing to do.

Comment by Ayana Lynn on June 17, 2011 at 2:29pm

Yeah I did and now I'm homeless. Oh well. Goodbye everyone!

Comment by Nicole Aime on June 17, 2011 at 3:44pm

Homeless . . . or free. Homeless . . . or out of the nest, flying on your own capable, though untested wings. When you start looking outward, you may just find yourself.

I assume your goodbye is due to not having access to internet. If it's more than that, I can only ask you to reconsider your options. You have people who care for you here. Sometimes in caring, one must be blunt. Stick with us. Access the internet at the library. If you're truly on your own, then it is up to you. If it is up to you, you can determine your own future.

You have my best wishes, young woman.

Comment by Ayana Lynn on June 18, 2011 at 11:13am

Well my gf is throwing me out, because of being broken up, which I think is horrible. She consider's me to be an extremely selfish person, like the most tv people as she claims, due to that we are so-called selfish for needing to be who we truly are and have to make ourselves happy first before others. :(

Comment by Nicole Aime on June 18, 2011 at 8:01pm

Ayana, perhaps what has happened was inevitable. Based on what you have written, your girl friend did not really understand what it means to be transsexual. I suppose relationships can begin with a dream, but they must be sustained by openness, honestly, understanding, and sacrifice. Love is the power, but not the magic.

All relationships are based on dependency. But when the "I don't want to live without you" becomes "I can't live without you" the dependency has reached the point of desperation.

Let your girl friend be free to pursue her dreams. Be happy for her. If you are truly a transsexual woman, you will not be able to fulfill her dreams anyway, no matter how much you try.

And let yourself pursue your dreams. Take time to understand yourself. Take time to accept yourself. Take time to develop love and respect for yourself. Take time to build a life for yourself. Then, search for a soulmate to share your life with. Only when you get to the point where you don't need anyone can you truly live the phrase, "I don't want to live without you."

I'm sorry for the loss you feel. I'm sorry for the rejection you feel. I'm sorry for the disappointment you feel. There's little comfort in telling you that I have been there too - except to know that it is possible to be happy again.

Tell us what you are going to do. We are here for you. - Hugs

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