As a follow up to an earlier post of mine on Autogynephelia, I wanted to add some info in light of my recent visit to Dr Anne Lawrence’s website. There you will find an article she wrote called “becoming what we love”. What I found very illuminating about the article and how she elaborates on the ideas of Ray Blanchard in his references to the erotic components and early experiences in cross dressing of non homosexual male to female transsexuals. She argues that there is more than an erotic component in these transsexuals to want to be female because they love their own image as female but that there is also affection and admiration (much like the love that exists between a couple when the initial erotic urges have subsided after many years together).
She argues, In other words, that much of the attacks against the idea of autogynephelia centers around the idea that Blanchard was only referring to sexual arousal and not to the other aspects of love in the autogynephilic model.
What’s interesting about this for me is that it helps explain why we can still have autogynephelia long after the erotic impulses behind dressing have subsided as one ages and why we can still be drawn to cross dressing before we hit puberty. It is these other aspects of love and admiration of the female in us that keep us firm in the idea that we wish to be female (or are sure that we are).
Much of what Anne Lawrence writes resonates a great deal with me as a non homosexual MtF person and I find the article actually comforting. Some of you may be interested in reading it and you will find it on her site which is at www.annelawrence.com
She also makes the distinction between started out as homosexual MtF which typically transition early and have no previous erotic component to their desire to be female. They just know they are female and make the necessary adjustments to have their bodies match their mental picture of themselves. A friend of mine fits that model perfectly and she and I fit the respective models almost to a tee.
I make no claim to say that Dr Lawrence is speaking for all of us but see if you agree with her and see if the model fits your experience. I personally find the subject fascinating and it helps me try and understand the motivations behind my own drive to be female.