"We are One"
An Imperfect Woman
"Better to be an intact man functioning with 100 percent capacity for everything than to be a transsexual woman who is an imperfect woman.�"
So said Renee Richards, who most would be aware of as THAT tennis player who in 1975 had her "sex-change," lived life in the limelight and when the light faded, began her life of regrets.
I think the purpose of this blog by me, is to accentuate the fact that transitioning is not for everyone, it is not for many but for those few who have this deep need to live their life without hiding behind a facade that is excruciatingly painful and are prepared, if needs be, to lose everything and everybody, in becoming the person they believe themselves to be, then becoming an "imperfect woman" is a thousand times better than being, on the outside perhaps, a perfect man.
It's a silly term for us anyway, I know, because we are all here because of one simple fact, we have a dissonance with being and living as a man, or more correctly, as a male.
But are the many of us, really able to mentally cope with the world seen through the eyes of a man as they look into the eyes of a woman.
Few men will admit to their feeling of superiority as a male because it is not a conscious thought, it is empowered into them from the day of their birth.
I'm not going to tell the journey I have taken, here, it is well documented and it is not important, in the context of this story.
What is important, is the road that you decide to take for yourself, is one that you have determined you can live with because the probability but not necessarily the inevitibility, of you living as a second-class citizen and from that, a life of regret for your decision, is not the odds that a betting person would enjoy.
But then, " Only the strong transition" and to do this thing, for you, is a mark of a mentally strong person, one who will, at long last say, " I am worth this sacrifice, to become a better person."
Personally, I will take being an imperfect woman any day of the week.
Male privilege is alive and kicking, but as I say in my Skype intro, " It might be a man's world but it sure is sweeter being a woman."
-
Comment by Dal Maxwell on September 28, 2012 at 8:15pm
-
A-friggin'(wo)men!
-
Comment by Caroline Grace on September 28, 2012 at 11:06pm
-
This is a misquote of Rene, who was talking about having surgery. She was wishing there were alternatives to surgery, but there weren't any and so she did the surgery. Se has no regrets over confirming being a woman. I will try to find the whole quote.
By the way, some 1 to 2% of TSs do regret having the surgery. And overall satisfaction rates go up with better quality surgeons, something for those to consider who are only price driven and do not consider any other facts.
And I do believe I'd be better off not having been born transgender, but would I switch to being a man if I could? I will keep celebrating being a woman, as imperfect as I am, and rejoice that I can now let others know who I am.
-
-
In 2007, she was famously misquoted as saying she "regrets" having had the surgery -- something that quickly became a cautionary tale for all transgenders -- when in fact she said that she regretted that there had been no other alternative to surgery -- "better to be an intact man functioning with 100 percent capacity for everything than to be a transsexual woman who is an imperfect woman” -- "but there wasn’t,” and she'd likely committed suicide because the draw to become female was so great
-
Comment by Rachel King on September 28, 2012 at 11:41pm -
Posting someone else's quotes, of someone else's quote, is fraught with danger and I am caught out once again......sigh.
It would appear that the quote is correct but the author did selective editing and left the itty-bitty last bit off, hereby altering the whole context of the quote.
It matters little for the message that I was trying to convey, the quote was one of a number in the text that I read,that was the inspiration for the blog, not the person being quoted.
I have little knowledge nowadays of Renee, good luck to her but the message to be passed on is, the difficulties of transitioning are never to be underestimated or for anybody to think that their path will be a bed of roses without the thorns attached.
I add on here most of the text, bar the final paragraph, of what the author, a Queensland woman, not a member, wrote,
"There are a number of people who believe they are transsexual, but struggle to feel comfortable in society who really should read this article. The reason I say this is because some people try to convince themselves they are transsexual under the belief that as a woman life is going to be easier and is the solution to all their problems. But the truth of the matter is SRS OR BA WILL NOT HELP YOU TO BE SOCIALLY ACCEPTED AS A WOMAN!
What is really scary is some people I know believe that having boobs will define them as a woman and help them to pass through the world a lot easier. But the truth of the matter is, if your spirit is truly male, you will just be a man with moobs and nothing more and no amount of surgery can ever correct that.
The most important part of transition is the psychological component, and if you are not right in this area, then you are not right for any surgery or SRS. Because once you have your genitalia altered, there is no turning back."They are not my thoughts and they may not be yours but I respect the way in which the author wrote and felt about the subject and that it evoked thought in me and that is, after all, what it is all about, isn't it?
Good thoughts of yours Caroline, I'm sorry about burping at the dinner table, hahahaha.
-
Comment by Erin Detty on September 29, 2012 at 6:30am -
I am fine with being imperfect, I've been that way all my life but now I am an imperfectly happy woman, if that makes sense, I mean nothings perfect and never will be.
I have been married 32 years and I'll remain patient so as to give her time to transition too... but there will come a time that I will have to move on with my transition, with or without her.
My wife and money is the only two things slowing my transition down and I have to admit its the money more than anything, I'm sure this sounds familiar to a lot of girls here.
My life has changed so, so much. I've been through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and its been worth every bit of it.
All in all I'm happier than I have ever been, being me has made all the difference. Its hard to believe I was so afraid to be myself for so long, "stupid" no one else cares if I'm truly happy or not and transitioning proved it to me, that may sound harsh but I see it as being true.
Being misquoted seems to work into some peoples agendas, to some being trans has got to be wrong religiously or morally, ignorance and hate come in many forms.
-
Comment by Malxe Wegemer on September 29, 2012 at 10:12am
-
Anyone who truly believes that there is an attainable goal be perfect, be they transgender, cisgender or anywhere in between, is delusional anyway. We are all flawed; it's a simple fact of existing. The only thing that truly matters is the pursuit of finding comfortability with one's self.
-
-
Rachel,
In the end getting the quote right or wrong doesn't matter that much because it is someone else's life we are talking about here. Your point about making sure the path you are on is yours - and it is the correct path for you - is so on target. Again, you do a service to our community.
Transition aren't for everyone and I have heard that, "Only the strong transition."
-
Comment by Marsha M. Marsha on September 29, 2012 at 6:45pm -
Well from my persepective, being an imperfect woman is a heck of a lt better than being a fauxman.
Rachel, you have to stop quoting from,"Urban Legends" and the Warren Commission Report
-
Comment by Brenda Kaitlin on September 30, 2012 at 11:47am -
I don't want to sound judgemental, but how can she say perfect male? How perfect is it that you hide emotion? How perfect is it that you worry about saying the right things to appear manly. How perfect is it that you feel uneasy in the company of males. You feign interest in a plethora of masculine activities trying to hide and silence the girl within. Always questioning. Are my finger nails too long? Does she think I am a little too good at picking out clothing? The honest truth is I was never really that good at being a male anyway?
-
Comment by Rachel King on October 1, 2012 at 3:01am
-
Hmm, can't see anywhere that it say's anything about a perfect male but I get your drift Helen.
There is not one of us who felt any other way than you do, that's the very reason for transitioning.
The message of the blog is "Look before you leap," basically but we all read into things differently.
That's why we are now purrrfect.........
Hits Since 04/01/09
Top Content
Blog Posts
If you've had a photo not accepted - PLEASE READ THIS
Posted by PE Administrator on May 20, 2013 at 10:17am 42 Comments 10 Likes
Finnally made the decision.
Posted by Allison Nichole Stover on May 19, 2013 at 10:44pm 8 Comments 5 Likes
So, Where's Your Dad? ... She's Right There
Posted by Michelle Wolf on May 19, 2013 at 8:29am 2 Comments 2 Likes
It's never too late....
Posted by Brooke K. on May 19, 2013 at 6:21am 5 Comments 7 Likes
Moving forward.
Posted by Gayle Richards on May 19, 2013 at 2:14am 4 Comments 7 Likes
BEING THE ONLY ONE LIKE YOU AT YOUR COMPANY AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT?
Posted by sara simone on May 16, 2013 at 9:11pm 3 Comments 3 Likes
Review: She's Not There - A Life In Two Genders 10th Anniversary Edition
Posted by Michelle Wolf on May 16, 2013 at 5:42am 6 Comments 1 Like
But you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy changed lots of other personal things all the time
Posted by Gidget Groendyk on May 15, 2013 at 10:42pm 0 Comments 0 Likes
Oops, maybe I have gotten too comfortable...At work
Posted by Breanne Todd on May 15, 2013 at 8:55pm 16 Comments 4 Likes
A Different Kind
Posted by Chelle Munroe on May 14, 2013 at 4:34pm 5 Comments 5 Likes
A random thought and definition
Posted by JinianVictoria M. Herdina on May 14, 2013 at 10:46am 14 Comments 2 Likes
BUT DADDY I HATE TO SHAVE
Posted by sara simone on May 14, 2013 at 8:04am 4 Comments 0 Likes
Nervous!!! But one step closer!!
Posted by Toni Absalonson on May 13, 2013 at 4:30pm 11 Comments 2 Likes
Gender Dysphoria is a Real Bummer
Posted by Michelle Wolf on May 13, 2013 at 6:06am 8 Comments 3 Likes
Invisible
Posted by sara simone on May 13, 2013 at 12:31am 2 Comments 1 Like
Mother's Day weekend
Posted by Steffie Michaels on May 12, 2013 at 8:53pm 0 Comments 2 Likes
Mothers Day
Posted by sara simone on May 12, 2013 at 7:11am 3 Comments 1 Like
Caught of Guard
Posted by Galina Edwards on May 11, 2013 at 10:41pm 4 Comments 7 Likes
Life goes on.....
Posted by Brooke K. on May 11, 2013 at 7:56am 10 Comments 5 Likes
PeWorld Map
© 2013 Created by Chloe Prince.
You need to be a member of PINKessence to add comments!
Join PINKessence