a couple things

Comment by Dal Maxwell on July 5, 2012 at 11:52pm

Danica - We ALL have well-meaning friends who say (seemingly) hurtful things.  One close friend of mine, during a Women's Seder at our Synagogue, replied to a commennt I made by saying; 'Well.....welcome to womanhood'.  It wasn't even in context but I know she meant well.

And I think that your friend did too; on behalf of your friendS.  She may or not get how traumatizing it is to start the external process, where you lay yourself bare (with clothes on) for the world to speculate about you.  And as to your face..........everybody's got one.  Some like theirs and some don't.  So speaking of malls, if you are a people watcher of any sort you MUST know how diverse the population of the world is.  Do you think that every woman who is 'beautiful' believes that about themselves?  And conversely, there are plenty of 'plain' women who are pretty self-confident.  I'm guessing that it is becausze since they don't have those 'valued looks' they can go about their business and just be who they are.

It takes a while for many of us to get there because we started so late, and the truth is that until and unless you believe in yourself, it's just plain gonna be a miserable trip.  Not that it will be painless any other way but if you don't introduce yourself as ann obstacle it goes better.

Back to your face for a moment; it's not just what you do with your face, it's what you do with YOU.  A little make-up, a little self-confidence, a little selective shopping and some support from friends can be HUGE.  If you hang out with women socially, get those gals together for a lunch and shopping date.  Dress down not up; affect a 'When in Rome' attitude.  Don't presume things, go with the flow, and watch how your women friends act in public.  Even your voice doesn't have to be sugar sweet if you act like it's a perfectly normal day out with the girls.  Okay, so this wasn't about your face necessarily.  

I'm not beauty queen, nor am I a spring chicken (nor do I play either one on television) but I get by just fine because I act as though I do belong wherever I am and I also don't happen to care at this point if I get 'the look'.  I've devised some pretty funny retorts and comebacks to those who would (even mildly) chhallenge me.

So keeping in mind that these are just my thoughts and opinions; from an old war horse; then remember that it's STILL gonna take time for you to get used to yourself.  But have fun and good luck, and always try to find the humor in stuff.

Comment by Janet Miller on July 6, 2012 at 5:01pm

Oh that is so true!  When I was younger, I wanted to dress but I was afraid that I would be laughed at best, or hit or pushed down at worst and I used my girlriends as a buffer to any reaction of how I was dressed.  They all thought I should dress as a girl all the time, especially when we were shopping.  To accomodate them and to show them I wasn't just using them, I started to dress more and more, especially nights and on the weekdends.  We just had more fun when I was dressed.  I remember when I got my ears pierced and I had to keep my starter studs in for 6 weeks.  Everyone of them bought me a pair of earrings.  In the summertime, I was almost always dresed but I did not dress full time until after I started on HRT.  If I did not have the peer pressure and support of my girlfriends, I don't think I would be as confident and comfortable as I am today.

Comment by Christen Bustani on July 12, 2012 at 12:53pm

Fear of one's own self... fear of other's reactions... were the mainstays of what held me back.   Today, I am confident in who I am, as you should and will be one day of your own sense of self.  As for HRT.....  I've not had one day of it to date and it has not been an influence or a means to transform me to be the person I know I am inside.   That innate sense comes from within!   Today, I am out and about as a woman whenever and accepted societally as a woman because that is what others see in me.... deep inside my soul.   You will come to be there too one day soon...... :)

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