Cross-Dressers: Equal Under the Rainbow

Comment by Allison Elizabeth on March 26, 2012 at 8:55am

Michelle, 

Unfortunately, even in such a wonderful, fantastic group as this, there are some who "look down their noses" at cross-dressers. I have experienced it myself but the great people FAR outnumber the ones that would look down on us. You hit the nail on the head that it is just human nature to find a group you can look down on. I wish I could transition. In fact, I pray just about every night for God to miraculously transform me into a woman. But right now at least, my circumstances just will not allow for transition. I would love to find help and support, but unfortunately there are some who will not accept me even in our community.

Comment by HELEN BRADY on March 26, 2012 at 1:07pm

OK I admit I was put out and not a little when a man who had been flirting with me, after someone told him I was not a woman, asked me if I was a transvestite. Poor man, he is utterly ignorant of transfolk even though he is a medical doctor. I told him in no uncertain terms that I am a woman and expect to be treated as such. Also, he likes to put "MAN!" at the end of his sentences, so I told him to never call me a MAN. Anyway, he has no problem with me being a transwoman - he even said (why I have no idea!) that he wasn't AFRAID of me.

I suspect he is bi anyway.

Comment by Celeste Starre on March 26, 2012 at 3:59pm

People tend to think that what they are is the best way to be.  I don't really care that much for labels but I also know that I am much closer to being a crossdresser than a transsexual and I am very happy about that. I know that transsexuals have to endure a lot more emotional and financial distress to get where they want to be than I do so I'm very grateful to be what I am.

Comment by Nicole Aime on March 26, 2012 at 4:21pm

I've had the same experience. And I think I would still get upset if someone labelled me as a crossdresser instead of a transsexual. But it's not, or I certainly hope it's not, due to any holier than thou attitude on my part. It's just that I have spent so long inside my head trying to ascertain who and what I am that I am offended that someone could possibly think they know me better when they haven't even taken the time to get to know me. Especially when that person has probably appealed to gender identity or subconscious sex as being the basis for their own conviction about who they are.

I never thought of myself as being a crossdresser or a transvestite, though for many years those were the only labels that I new of. Maybe that is why I have grabbed on tightly to the term transsexual. I've always known that I am female - I was a girl and now I am a woman - wrapped in a male shaped body. I'm not trapped, because I can get out. Thank goodness.

Comment by Josie on March 26, 2012 at 5:41pm

I am glad to see this discussion here. I once said to a gurl I was just a cross dresser and she corrected me that i should never use the word "just" that I was as much part of the tg community as she was. I have always been concerned how CDs are procived in our community and would never want to lessen the tough steps those tat truly are one the path of transition take every day. Yes there are many CDs out there that are just a fetish thing, some that just wear panties and call themselves CDs. I have been vary happy how the gurls here and the ones that I've met in person have opened their arms and harts to me. When I dress up I truly feel like a woman. I don't see myself taking it further I'm comfortable in guy and gal mode. I can see myself leaving either behind. I hope you all can understand what i mean by all this I'm not the best with words, but like to say thank you to all the sisters that have accepted me as I am

Comment by Michelle Wolf on March 26, 2012 at 9:31pm

Great commentary everyone! Thank you! This is a tough issue where people have deep feelings on both sides of the coin. We are all different and we all recognize that, and I'm happy to see a lot of tolerance here, especially when the comments received really seem to show that there are no clear lines. Some are very much some and not the other, some are figuring themselves out, and for others resting comfortably in between works. I was hoping to get some really intelligent and insightful opinions, and none of you disappoint. :-)

Comment by Cynthia Ann Norwood on March 27, 2012 at 2:08am

Yes I agree crossdressers have a place at the table as do all transgender persons. I don't think it's right for someone who has moved farther down the path toward gender fulfillment to feel that they are superior to someone who identifies as the opposite gender on a part time basis. I think most trans women cross dressed at some point. I know I did. I decided to transition when I was able to do so. I have several close friends who are crossdressers and they have expressed their desire to make their TG outings more permanent but feel constrained by their job and family responsibilities.  I understand how they feel. For any trans woman to say that they are somehow better than their crossdressing sisters is arrogant and elitist.  

Comment by Michelia Figo on March 27, 2012 at 11:37pm

Thanks for your well-written post, Michelle. I could not agree with you more. I realize it is hard for some TS folk to stomach some of our behavior, or want to be related to us. But when you carry these kinds for prejudices around you are only just as correct in your way of thinking as the rest of the world and their attitudes toward us.

Besides we need each other. There are so many crossdressers out there....If we could make them feel more accepted and get them to come out more. Or at least get more involved...we could all benefit politically.

Comment by Carole Hill on March 28, 2012 at 5:52pm

Thank you for such a well-thought out post on a subject that many would be hesitant to comment on. I thought the comments posted were all quite good also.

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