serious question

Comment by Sarah Till on February 19, 2012 at 10:03am

Rachel, I was just trying to make a point that everyone is different in there quest to become a women. I really was exaggerating when I said I have a dick. What I have is so small that half the time it is up inside of me. I can wear shape panties or women's swim suits and you can't see it. When I pee I have to sit down or I get wet. I don't like men sexually so I don't really need a vagina. In fact I don't like most men at all and I certainly don't want to be a man.  

Comment by Nicole Aime on February 19, 2012 at 4:21pm

My answers are still "yes."

A woman is a woman whether she has a birth defect or not. For some, delaying the process of dealing with the defect is purely a matter of pragmatism, perhaps tempered by love. For some, it is essential. I am thankful every day that my level of genital dysphoria is such that I can live without thinking about what those sharp knives in the kitchen might be good for besides cooking.

Comment by Nicole Aime on February 19, 2012 at 6:15pm

Someone take that sharp knife away from Connie. Her wit is sharp enough to cut through a tin can, but loving enough to not do it.

I always wanted one of those Ronco Pragmatics. I do have some knives from Pampered Chef - I love being pampered!

Most, if not all, women look better with their clothes on. Why should we be any different?

Comment by Marsha M. Marsha on February 19, 2012 at 9:22pm

I happen to agree with Rachel, which worries me, but I could not fathom living as a woman with a penis, It seems highly inoppropriate but furthermore it just didn't belong,  I say that from my POV. But there are some transwomen like my Andrea, that bear with their protrusion as best they can because financially they are incapable of making the change. 

Rachel, there are women who do like having a penis, at least the attachable kind, as a temporary addition to their wardrobe.

As for the exclamation made about periods I would question that especialy for those who have vaginas of colon or semi-colons, howbeit I prefer my kitty punctuated.

Danica, you may have asked a serious question, but as you can see we answer with mirth

Comment by Rachel King on March 9, 2012 at 3:56am

We all have to live within the limited parameters that are given to us.

I was able to alter my genitalia to match the gender I feel that I am, the truth for you Kage, is you can't.

If it were possible for a penis to be reconstructed, I would lay odds that the majority of trans men would jump at the opportunity.

You Kage might or might not, it is a moot point because the possibility is not a realistic option( bet somebody want's to jump in and contradict that, but the truth is, a working penis is not an option)

I only wish there was knowledge in transplanting a penis, because I would have gladly offered mine to a trans-man to allow him to be seen as " normal".

Hahahaha, normal, don't you love that word.

I see my vagina as one of the defining things in my womanhood.

I have searched myself for alternative's but my truth is, I see a vagina as part of a womans makeup, her essence and many will disagree with that but those that do disagree, don't have a vagina.

I would suggest that if you had an alternative, you would take it.

You don't, so you live with what you've got.

It's pointless being offended by us who have finally, after a lifetime of anguish in being not who we believed ourselves to be, then finding our truth, not yours but our truth, wanting to shout from the rooftops, that "Hey, we are now complete."

And that is the bottom line.

I, for one, now feel complete.

Having that man thing reconstruted to a woman thing, created that.

Frankly, on this issue, I have no desire to listen.

Am I selfish? Am I self-centred?

I dunno, but I am whole and I love it.

Comment by Rachel King on March 9, 2012 at 7:36am

Interesting that the one salient point you dodged was, if you could and it was possible to create a functioning penis, would you have surgery and a penis created?

To a trans-woman, they dream all their lives of having their penis recreated into a vagina, without exception but herein lies the difference, many have not got the chance in life to have this surgery and they make a compromise, better to live with their defect and as a woman, than to continue the lie and remain in male mode.

I don't have the foggiest idea what goes on in a trans-mans mind but I have searched deep into my own mind and I am certain that my congruence only came after I had GRS.

If you choose to see that as divisive, or derisive, thats your prerogative but I have many friends here who are in various stages of being trans and not one of them would back up your claim that I am judgemental.

On their opinions, sure, but never on their status.

That's for them to come to terms with, not for me to worry my head about.

But, I have never changed my own view, that congruence came with having my penis recreated into my vagina and I doubt I ever shall.

For that, I make no apology whatsoever.

And a man with a penis, is still a man with a penis, it's just that mine found an infinitely better use, thank you very much.

And do I think any less of you for not having a penis?

Course not, you can't change what is, only what will be.

" Hold their status over anybody?"

Phooey.

You are obliged to have the view that you do, I have the choice to have the view I do.

So what?

Far as I'm concerned, doesn't matter.

Comment by Sylvia on March 9, 2012 at 12:05pm

IMO - It only matters if it matters to you.

Expanding on that - if it matters to any potential partners you may have now or in the future - it may indirectly matter to you in that regard.

Also - any Gov. entity or requirements that you have surgery in order for you to properly change any documents pertaining to "officially" establishing your true gender may influence whether this "matters" to you or not.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer - its a (very) personal issue.

As for your penis becoming "useless"... I guess that all depends on what you would be using it for.  Besides the obvious peeing part - it is still an sensitive organ and stimulation can still provide pleasure and even orgasm - so I wouldn't discount it altogether.  It is this sensitive glans part that gets saved and refashioned into a clitoris if you were to have SRS/GRS.  "Functionality" of that particular part of anatomy really doesn't change.

Comment by Sylvia on March 9, 2012 at 12:25pm

@ Rachel - I think the only real issue in all that you have said here is that what is right for you - is right for you and as much as you would like to include "all" or "many" other transwomen when expressing your viewpoint, you simply cannot speak for anyone but yourself.  You don't need to justify your viewpoint by including references to any others.  Your viewpoint - as it pertains to you - is valid all by itself.  When you paint with a broader brush though, and start making statements that include "all" "any" "most" etc. - then you are not leaving much room for others to exist outside your own viewpoint - which is both unfair - and judgmental - whether you intend to send that message or not.

Comment by Rachel King on March 9, 2012 at 9:03pm

I accept the rebuke gracefully, now either of you might care to introduce me to one woman here who is prepared to say anything other, than it took surgery to find her true congruence.

That is not a commentary on the path others choose or that chose them, it is how it is seen from the other side of the fence, if you like.

My view/s might well be seen as narrow to someone who cannot find this degree of congruency but should I not express them merely because it upsets someones sensibilities?

The congruency and the degree of such, that each of us find, is governed by our circumstances.

I will always refuse to preface my comments with a warning that this might upset someones sensibilities.

I tell it as I see it which is maybe not how some like to hear it,

but, that's life, sometimes raw but never less than my honest opinion.

I'm open to printing a retraction, if a post-op chooses to come forward and tell us all, that the personal congruence found was anything less than as I have found.

 

Is it divisive? No more than someone who has the opportunity to go to University and their neighbour only gets the chance to go to High School.

That's life.

Doesn't make one bettter than the other.

And, I choose my "expressions" very carefully, even when I am joking, hahaha

Gotta love life.

Comment by Rachel King on March 9, 2012 at 9:24pm

And a pretty damm good person to Kage.

A pleasure to get to know you.

I know I'm a tad crass at times, it's the Aussie in me but I don't ever want to hide my feelings here on Pe.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly need to be told.

The reader can be left to make up there own mind on how it fits into their scheme of things.

That's why I call this site, "The University of Pe."

It's all about learning, as well as connecting with others.

We don't get to see the side that your life offers often and when it comes to surgeries, it is a whole new ball game, so anything you inject into this forum will be of high interest to the thinking part of our community.

Keep on talking, you're interesting, a bit spunky too...........

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