I am sitting here getting ready to frantically pack for my trip to Chicago tomorrow. It's funny, my first surgery I was calm and not jitters at all. This one I am freaking out inside. I guess it is more the week of pain I fear or maybe it's the changing the way I have looked all my life. Not sure. All I know is that I am now in bed, looking up information on the before and after shots, procedures and anything else that can freak me out.
It's been a long time getting here.… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on April 2, 2012 at 9:46am —
I've been here on PE off and on for over or about 2 years. It has been a place where I have now made many long term friendships. It is also a place where I found confidence and compassion. I won't say that I would not be here without PE, but being a member has sure made getting here easier.
My life has been trough many milestones since 2009. My ex left me… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on August 21, 2011 at 7:00pm —
It has been a while since I logged into Pink Essence. My life has become quite filled with things to do and the time I get for myself has been limited greatly. But today as I look at the date, it hit me, two weeks ago today marked the day that I made a decision to finally face my gender dysphoria and do something about it. Read More
My story is here already. I like many others had these feeling at a very young age and fought against them for the better part of 40 years. But as my 44th…
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on March 20, 2011 at 8:46am —
My life is still on this constant roller coaster right now. I have been without my children for 5 weeks now, but I now have an attorney and a plan. It seems that this will not even get to court as the courts here do not see transgenderism as being a reason to take custody away. So I am still praying, but more hopeful.
I made a friend at my Transgender group. She has made it a point to get me out so she has become a good friend of mine. We have gone out to dinner after the… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on November 2, 2010 at 12:03am —
This is just the last message in a long train of them I have been getting the last ten days. My ex-wife is intent on keeping my kids from me and she brought this suit against me at the worst time financially she could. My defense will cost $5000 plus and I have a negative balance in my checking account. I guess being transgender and divorced is a formula for poverty.
Last night I had a conversation with my brother who is an attorney in NY. He made it clear that he would not… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on October 13, 2010 at 6:32pm —
I have been toying with an idea starting a new podcast. I'd like to do something like my old Podcast The Addicted Gamer. In that one I interviewed many people in the gaming community. I showed that these people were real and gave them a forum to air their stories.
My idea goes further than just a Podcast, however, that is my starting point. I'd like to interview members of the transgender community for this podcast, but... I'd also like to be able to use these… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on October 6, 2010 at 11:26pm —
The whole issue of my being transsexual must really be killing my Ex-wife. She has never before used my children as pawns, however, this time she is throwing them right into the front line. Here is her claim.
There has been a substantial change materially affecting the welfare and best interests of said children which demand that the circumstances surrounding the children and the Defendant's fitness as a parent be examined by this Court. To wit: Defendant (My Name) has… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on October 6, 2010 at 11:09pm —
The beginning of my transition was the day I sat down across from my therapist and said, "There is no doubt why I am here, I feel that I am a woman and I'd like to talk about where I go from here." That was this past January.
My counselor responded, "What is your name?"
I replied, "Sarah."
Even then it did not hold dear to me, however, six months earlier, when I joined Pink Essence, I needed to choose a name and it was Sarahmaybe. Even then I was not sure, thus the… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on September 28, 2010 at 8:30am —
It's funny how all my family and friends say "Whatever makes you happy" when telling you they accept you. I guess that is all they can say. I don't think anyone is born to understand this unless it is part of them.
In reality it is more like, "I'm not doing this to be make myself happy, I am this and what I am doing is correcting a mistake that is making me miserable. In this process I will have difficult times, lose friends, be made fun of and have pain. I also will spend tens of… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on September 25, 2010 at 8:30am —
Round and round and round things spun for me this pat week. It was the biggest week of change in my week since my twins were born, and it all started with the end of SCC.
In my last blog I spoke of my ex-wife finding out I was transsexual and the hurt and relief it brought with… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on September 20, 2010 at 10:06am —
Last Thursday, in the middle of Lana More's presentation at SCC, exactly at the time she started talking about paradigms I received a text from my ex-wife. In as few of words as possible, she had found something out and needed to talk. Till then she did not know about my being Transgender or more specifically Transsexual. With one text my whole existence was about to change.
The months and years prior to this I had built up the discovery by my wife/ex-wife to be the hardest… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on September 14, 2010 at 10:30am —
The days of having a life and trying to have a blog and a youtube channel are tough. Balancing life, work, kids a girlfriend and transition is quite a balancing act. Sometime so hard I forget just who I am and what role I am in at a given moment. People are starting to take notice.... and wonder... and question.… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on August 11, 2010 at 12:23am —
It's been a long time since I was on the Pink Essence site. I've been so busy at work and home. The summer has been good to me and I guess all the fun has over taken my time.
Where I'm at. I started Hormones on May 26, 2020 so I am just reaching my 2 month mark. I couldn't wait to see the endocrinologist my therapist suggested so I made an appointment with a DO in Atlanta that has been treating The Transgender community for 15 years. So far I am extremely happy with his… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on July 26, 2010 at 11:07am —
When I was a child summer was always looked forward too. Those days from Late June to the beginning of September were spent doing so many things. The summer just seemed to last forever.… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on July 6, 2010 at 10:58pm —
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on June 18, 2010 at 6:46am —
I've noticed that I am short tempered and rude lately. This coupled with my already brash NY attitude is making me seem very bitchy and I just can not have that in my Job. I work with people all the time. It seems that this has been the case for about two months which coincides with my HRT. Well the HRT I began without the doctor back in April.
I do not want to give full billing to hormones. I've been stressed for many reasons lately. My divorce, money and the telling… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on June 9, 2010 at 10:26pm —
I know I posted here that I had a youtube video channel. Well now it has videos and with the third one up I thought I'd post here in my blog my intentions and ask for feedback. Read on. this is lifted from my blog at http://web.me.com/sarahmaybe…
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on June 3, 2010 at 7:04am —
Yesterdays entry about being in a shitty mood due to my mom telling my brother has to be listed as a major overreaction. I do not know why I let this go so far. I am in transition and need to ground myself more often. My brother needed to know. I waited too long. My mother told him by mistake forgetting it was my brother Christian that I told. I am over it and have… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on June 2, 2010 at 10:03pm —
The beginning of transition for me was spent with much of self examination. Before making a decision to become a woman I needed to be sure that indeed that was a destiny I desired. In the end it wasn’t just one I desired, it was one I had to mover towards.… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on June 1, 2010 at 8:56am —
This week has been quite a big one in both good and bad. I started the week with the thought that I soon would be broke due to my finances dwindling from my quick acceptance of my divorce settlement. I had my therapy session on Monday and then initially had a visit to Dr. Hudson on Tuesday. What I thought may be a… Read More
Added by Nichole D'Angelo on May 27, 2010 at 7:30am —