Jodie Jones's Blog (24)

    As I address the keyboard it is nearly impossible to believe that I started transition only one year ago.  So very much has happened, so very much is changed and different, it seems like it ought to have taken ten years.  I thought it appropriate that I take a moment to say 'Hi, how ya doin' to all my Sisters here.  Just starting my second semester of grad school.  I have met, and become quite good friends with, a prof. in my department who is a world-renown…

    I do so apologize to all my sisters here for being absent so very long; however, my attendance must be necessarily curtailed for the foreseeable future.  I just got into grad school, and after having been absent-without-leave from academia for so long, to say I am up to my eyeballs in work and reading is a gross understatement.  Two quick notes -

1.  Spoiler alert - am AMAZING anecdote follows - reader's digest version.  I decided, through a beautiful, truly serendipitous series…

    An event in a person's life with whom I am (hopefully) developing an intimate relationship made me think of this.  This is a lesson that took me a goodly potion of my adult life to learn.  Took me more pain that I ever want to remember to learn,

     Conditional Love is no Love at all.  Period.  Just because you Love someone doesn't mean that they are your plaything.  A doll to be dressed up the way you want to dress her.…

     I think the trials and tribulations of my past, I think having to repeat the third grade three times at the 'School of Hard Knocks' has conditioned me like Pavlov's Dog.  You see, I continue to feel like I am standing in a rain storm, and all the drops are good things, happy things ( I know that I now simply have the ability to see, sense, smell the goodness that was there all along, I'm attempting to be literary here ).  While…

     I felt a need this morning to give a shout out to every girl that is thinking about transitioning, or just starting.  Talk about the most difficult type of decision!  I looked at my voice therapist this week and told her that at first, it seemed like I was an actress playing a part.  I had to work hard to stay in character, and follow the script.  Now.....I am a girl.  It is as natural as anything is natural.  So - everything (I predict) will get easier as you go along the path to your…

    I minutes ago returned from my first I.P.L. hair removal appointment for the beard.  I simply had to tell you that it was a wonderful experience.  Less pain than bumping your leg on a coffee table.  Kelly (the girl who worked on me) said probably take 7 or 8 appointments to kill all those nasty little boys.  I'm going to save up and have her do my legs too.  The VA sent me to the best, most ritzy place in town.  I have not spent much time in a salon, and this place was beautiful, and the…

My life just seems to get better and better and better.  Combination of realistic expectations coupled with a reverential and thankful attitude is, I hope, the underlying reason.  Could be just dumb luck.  I know I don't care.  Yet another blessing I have received from transition is that now, as opposed to then, I don't have to dissect and analyze every single event, or thing, in my life.  Analyze to the point of pounding all the magic and wonderment and joy out of everything.  Now I can…

     I received a letter from the Iowa Civil Rights Commission a couple of weeks ago.  It was a Statement of the Case, wherein the staff attorney that evaluated all the evidence of record said that the Sheriff's Deputy has already admitted, in her sworn statement, that she discriminated against me based solely on my being a trans woman.  And he pushed the case forward.  So - I have won already.  Now -…

     Maybe I am the only one who didn't know this, but I found this very illustrative.  I had been dismayed that my bust measurement had not grown in some time.  I noticed this morning that I have lost an amazing amount of muscle on my chest (I always had a muscular chest, mostly from laboring), underlying my new breats. So I am growing, it's just that right now, the foundation is (blessedly!) receding.    Please share any insights or…

     This is such a burning issue in my heart and mind, I am compelled to stop working, and post this.  Anyone who knows me knows that I never censor anyone's comments, and I invite polite, but principled and factual, disagreement.

     There is a quite obvious subset, perhaps majority, of trans women that are obsessed with 'passing' as a cis gender girls.  This is not only harmful and destructive to yourself, it is harmful and destructive to your trans Sisters.  Because…

     While I was walking this morning, I was feeling the fear, anxiety and trepidation that I found in a couple of blog posts here this morning.  Posts by girls who are just now peeking out of their closets.  That is a fear-filled, and scary time, for us all.  I wanted to somehow convey just how happy I am now, how now I live in Peace and Tranquility.  But - simply saying ‘look at me.  I did it, and now I am...” so forth and so on, seems crude.  So this story popped into my head, unbidden…

     I called my Mom on Mother's Day.  My brother Bob was there.  Bob and I were very close most of our adult lives.  He actually lived with me a couple of times.  But, in the last decade, we have not been close, due to a bunch of factors.  The last time we talked I came out to him as trans.  He said he 'was cool with that, if that was what I needed to be happy'.  Still - I must admit, it is the most hard for me with my brothers.  They have been golden.  It is in my mind that the incongruity…

     Those of you that have been gracious enough to read my blog, and follow along vicariously on my particular transition odyssey, know that I have been quite literally flying along above the fray in a balloon.  A balloon keep afloat not by helium or hot air, but rather by the side effects of my blessed Estradiol.  

     Four days ago I suffered a series of calamities that overwhelmed me with stress.  The morbid, mind numbing, life ruining kind of stress.  I reacted in a way that I…

     In my world, in my mind, one domino hits the next, and the next, and occasionally ( since beginning transition 30 x more commonly) this process brings about a moment of clarity, and understanding.

     I have been desperately, and sincerely, trying to re-establish contact with my children, and their mother.  Relationships that those girls in transition know why fell away years ago.  It seemed to me that, if for nothing else, for the children's sake, it would be a good idea if the…

     I filed my Petition for Name Change yesterday ( in Iowa).  I was named after my Mother's favorite uncle Jodie Jones.  So.....I had to endure a childhood wherein I was regularly taunted with "You have a girl's name" and "you name is spelled like a girl's".  Well, who's laughing now, eh??  

     I am keeping my first name, as I have grown quite fond of it over the years.  I am changing my family name to Jones.  1)  To honor my Mother, who's maiden name was Jones, and who is 91 and…

     First, the pain -

      I re-activated my Facebook page (I am actually beginning to 'get' the social media thing, something that has eluded my aging brain for some time now) because some of my new friends stay in touch, and exchange info, that way.  Almost instantly I received hate mail, vicious, bigoted hate mail, from my sister-in-law (who lived under the roof I paid for, slept in a bed I paid for, and ate food I paid for, for some 6 years) and my step-daughter (same thing.  I…

      Any of you girls that have been nice enough to read some of my posts here know that, since I started HRT, I can't seem to have a bad day.  I can't seem to find a reason to be in a bad mood for more than an hour, or so. I mean, I'm really afraid that you will all think I am a Pollyanna.  I am amazed each and every day that I now belly laugh at things that used to send me into a temper tantrum - but this takes the cake.  This has got me thinking maybe I ought to turn myself into the…

     This was, to me, so striking an experience, that I wanted to share, and maybe hear from others here with similar experiences.

     In my pre-HRT sessions with whomever, every time the subject of SRS (or is it more properly called GRS ? - More I need to learn!) came up, I said, with complete honesty and candor, that I had never once had a thought, or a fantasy, in which I did't have a penis.  Maybe it was because SRS seems so out of my reach financially.  I don't know…

I couldn't wait to get home, and share this.

I was walking briskly to the bus stop after seeing my psychologist (I have the best shrink and GP that I have ever had, they are wonderful) and I look down, and my breasts are bouncing.  I have about a handful, which is far better than I dared dream at this point.  I cried happy tears.

I doubt whether anyone other than us can understand how important this was to me.  Every day, now, seems to bring me increasing happiness and…