As I often do - I will list a few things that come to mind as I want to stay connected to you all.. I will just let my fingers do the talking .. and see where it leads.
First.. Im good! We recently moved to our dream home.. a small cottage/house on one of the finger lakes in NY. Its so wonderful. It has all the space we really need and is very cozy. The kitchen is a nice size and we switched the livingroom/dining area around giving us a larger place for meals…Read More
So...... today I came out to a girlfriend at work. She looked at me and said Haaaaaa! I have that beat.....I am bisexual.Then we did a high five...and made plans to go out soon
I love the fabric of life.
What a surprise.. I have have mixed feelings!
I have come from a weekend workshop a few weeks back that was excellent, and also invoked many touchy -feely activities, with near strangers. Staring in the eyes of another person for 5 minutes without saying a word is quite an experience. The further describing what you "learned" about that person. spooooky!
However, by the end of the weekend, these strangers became friends. And some quite close.
Here I am, standing before…Read More
So, this could very easily be about 12 blogs, but if you read quickly, you will get the Cliff notes version here..
First - I'm alive and well, after a long absence form PINKessence. (Thank you for all the personal well wishes)
That is probably a good thing. I am no less Transgender than I was year ago, but a few things have happened over the past year to alter my future..
1 - I really kinda don't want to "do' anything as Dave.. I've lost my motivation…Read More
Well, seems I have been duped by technology. I thought by buying a tablet, I would be much more in communication with my PE sisters, and responding much more quickly to every pulse of this sorority.
Seems like I took a step back instead.
The tablet is nice for reading, but is really sucky for typing. I have kept tabs on everyone from the comfort of my living room chair, but is paaaaaaainful for responding or adding insights.
So, tonight, I have come back down to my 1990…Read More
Does anyone have experience on the al-alon AL-ANON program as it relates to being gay or transgendered....?
i am interested in how the program could help me in many ways, and my wife thought she had seen information specific to the gay, lesbian, and transgendered community, but nether of us can find it now.
Im feeling its a place for me to grow in ways i never have able too thus far.
12-27 - I corrected the name of…Read More
The above was a quote I heard from a woman I met several years ago who has become a friend.
There is a charity thrift shop near me. When I was first divorced, this shop provided me with many household items, and Christmas decorations, which helped to make my first Christmas as a single person, more festive.
Anna is the manager and has been the manager at the store for the past five years and is really one of those angels on earth. She gives so much of herself to those around…Read More
My wife made a passing comment the other day. She and I have been talking a bit more openly about what the future will hold for us, and I sense, she is transitioning with me now. That's not to say, she doesn't remain firm in her conviction, that we wont remain together if I do. She is truly sorry for my predicament, and how difficult it is for me. She can see when I am Jillian (mentally) I am so much happier.
A week ago, she inadvertently used a nail polish remover wipe, in place of a…Read More
For those who follow the blogs here on PE, you may have noticed both the gentle and at times not so gentle influences from one active member, who, after much deliberation, caused me to react. Fortunately for me, it has worked out well and I am grateful for her encouragement..
I think my life is now truly changed for the better....
I'm referring to the purchase of a CVS 6 bladed Women's razor. A certain very persuasive young lady here on PE has been promoting…Read More
Just missed being blog 6000!.. Wow.. Seriously.. over 6000 entries of thought, conscience, inner feeling, rants, raves, and sharing has been posted to PE. I joined when the number was around 1200, and I thought that was a big number. Thank you all for contributing so much.. and helping those (like me) who felt all alone for so many years
Me? I'm still standing. I say that because, once again, I have been tested. I lost my job 2 weeks ago, and have jumped into a get a new job…Read More
I have a friend, whom I've known since college... which means I've known her for a lot of years.. a lot.
She is married to my old college roommate and at the time, she was introduced to me as " Rendy.". Rendy was Rendy for her whole life, which was a nickname she got when she was a little girl. Her real name is Roxanne. About 10 years ago, she decided, she really wanted to drop the baby name, and prefers Roxanne.
Roxanne introduces herself to others as Roxanne now. For all…Read More
Little by little, I see my future.
I have just recently began fully shaving my chest. Although I have wanted to do this for years, my spouse objected. Now I am, and she likes it better than before. (now if I could only do so, without the terrible rash that follows)
Also - my personal acceptance is more real. Perhaps PE has prompted this - Ok - without a doubt, but I now see myself growing old as a woman, rather than a man. Little by little, its more right than ever…Read More
First off.. I am struggling with how I can attend church as Jillian, and grow as a person who is more whole.My current church is very traditional and I feel I am falling into my old habits of being the 'guy' everyone knows and relates to.
Today, I stopped into our local Unitarian Universal church and gathered up literature. I wanted some info on the church and specifics on Sunday service because I plan to attend tomorrow's am service.
They widely accept those who identify as…Read More
I am very fortunate.. and I wanted share a bit with you all..
More and more - I see Gods hand on so much in my life.. and here is an recent example..
Although I have not been thinking about needed a new job, indications at my current job over the past few months got me to looking.. A post came up that fit me to a tee - (at least from my perspective) and I submitted my info..
Last week I was called and had a phone interview which lead to a formal interview today that last over…
So, Im feeling some resentment tonight..
I worked my tail off on a problem at the house. A real guy issue.
I had to swing a sledge hammer, an axe and dig rock by rock a space in my driveway to fix a drainage problem.
All day, I dug, and dug and dug, and then did the guy thing by going to the HW store buy pipe, couplings, and adhesives..
I really am resentful for the work I did. With each hammer blow, I was reminded that I am the guy who does this…Read More
For the third night, I couldnt sleep,
One morning this week, I got up and left for work at 5:15am ( I don't have to be at work until 8am)
The next, I was up at 2am, then 3am .. then again at 4am..Last night, about the same.
Finally my wife asked this am - Whats up? and, "lets not just gloss over it.."
Had a heartfelt talk which ended in the reconition, I cant be the kind of husband she deserves…Read More
First, what I beleive is the definition of crazy..
Doing what you have always done, expecting different results.
I had time on both Friday and Saturday to spend a lot of time as Jillian.
Several months ago, I purchased a Groupon certificate for a cut and pedicure at a nice salon for 50% off, knowing I had a wig which really needed to be cut and…Read More
This is my "Whatever" pops in my head as I write blog..
I have been negligent is writing my thoughts because no one single thing has stood out, yet lots of little things have occurred recently that add up to what we refer to as 'life'. I think this is more of an exercise in Journaling, which allows for a free flow of thoughts from your mind to your pen (keyboard). It can be quite therapeutic
I am torn between concerns with family, and being there for those who need…Read More