March 2012 Blog Posts (117)

I haven't posted here for quite some time.  It was easier to hide as everything changed.  Hide and not push too many limits as the lines were changing around me.

In my last post eight months ago, I had come out to my wife and daughter.  My wife's response was we are divorcing.  My daughter was upset about the divorce but not my being transgendered.  

I am at a new point now.  I'm typing this at the desk in my apartment.  Yes, apartment.  I moved out and much closer to my work…

      Any of you girls that have been nice enough to read some of my posts here know that, since I started HRT, I can't seem to have a bad day.  I can't seem to find a reason to be in a bad mood for more than an hour, or so. I mean, I'm really afraid that you will all think I am a Pollyanna.  I am amazed each and every day that I now belly laugh at things that used to send me into a temper tantrum - but this takes the cake.  This has got me thinking maybe I ought to turn myself into the…

This is a blog of conjecture, a what if blog, if you like.

So what if a blog is written that offends a person.

Let's take as an example, a professional person.

Now that Pe is open to the world, this hyperthetical professional, reads or hears of words being written, disparaging his reputation.

He takes umbrage at this and sets in motion the Tiger Sharks, the Lawyers and they get an injunction against Pe and a court order that demands the release of the author of…

Although I now live and work as me, my ex wife, whom I was married to for 22 years, and I have never really talked about "Brenda" except that she knew of course.

The last few months whenever she would call me, or me her, we would talk on the phone for over an hour each time about our kids and life and such.  So I really needed to get together and have our much needed talk.

Well she came over to my house last night and we had a very long, very emotional talk over tea.  We both…

This is probably going to really surprise a lot of you, but believe it or not, I am a huge geek. Seriously, it’s true. The reason I’m willing to disclose such an awful shocking truth is to explain how I was exposed to my first transgender comic character. No it wasn’t Jimmy Olson in one of his wacky psychedelic adventures from the 60’s; I’m talking about the 90’s when our favorite ginger lad was back to being as dull as corduroy slacks. I’m talking about Wanda from…

I watched most of this show today and thought that it was very good--no sensationalism, no campiness, no snickering.  There was some humor--partly from the TG woman surgeon who allowed one of her surgeries to be shown.  This was done well too, demonstrating, as Dr. Oz asked it, how the doctor creates a vagina from a penis.  The woman who had the surgery spoke too; she is Erika (she was Rick), and it was wonderful to see her, especially since she is in her mid-fifties.  That age part has made…

There are times when I question this strange thing I am, because in all honesty, it doesnt seem to make a lot of sense to me. I mean, intersex people, that kinda makes sense, and you can get tests done and know you belong to that category.. But me, my fem side is literally only in my head, and short of an autopsy when I die, there isnt any way to be 100 % sure I 'm not just crazy.,

Ah, well.

Hello Everyone,

The last few weeks have really changed me, and the views I’ve had for a while. I started a new chapter in my transition and it’s been eye opening. I stated in my last few blogs that I was getting close to done with the TG community and well something happened to help change my mind. I always have believed in the “Powers That Be” in the cosmic sense and well they kind of thumped me on the head and reminded me why I’m involved.

What happed was I met someone that was…

pray for me. I'm fighting with a bout of depression, worried about a friend who is suicidal, and dealing with being hormonal on top of both of those. Thanks. I really appreciate it.

Just saw that it has been a while since I posted a blog.  Life has been egh for me.  Just like anything in this world.  A roller coaster going up and down.  

Been out on what seems every TG Dating site and not really finding anyone.  Some of the replies I get are men trolling that can't read or girls that aren't serious and just looking for a one night stand.  I am half tempted to just stop looking and pack it up and concentrate and other things.

Anywho it is nice that PE is up…

I must comment publicly on a terrible event that my partner,Tammy and I witnessed Saturday at the Gold Rush Conference here in Denver. We attended Dr. Douglas Osterhaut presentation on FFS for transwomen. Dr. Osterhaut had brought along his Office Manager of 28 years, Mira. Approx fifteen minutes into the presentation, Mira walked up to and sat down to a woman in the front row and started yelling at her for taking notes of the presentation. She continued…

She looks at the piece but cannot see.

The brilliant colors described to she.  Her vision, it seems, has a narrow view.

Perhaps unfocused but somehow not true.

She questions herself, then asks them of God.

How curiously strange, she decides in a nod.

She hears the critiques by one and all.

Are their palettes too big or mine too small?

She treasures the views thanking each.

Yet believes her own though jaded and breached.

As I was out yesterday to do things instead of my usual bedtime at 7:30am (I work nights 10-6, except Sun 2pm-6am),

The first thing my pedicurist said to me after she sat down at my feet was: "You are SO beautiful."  This was my 4th visit to her, but I don't remember hearing that before from her.

Then I went to Denny's and a 4yr old boy said twice to his 6yr old sister (ages estimated!): "Look at that OLD woman!"

while looking at me.

Then I got home and…

When I was 9, I dragged home a large rabbit cage and took to sitting in it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Freudian kind of girl in any respect, but you have to admit that kind of thing is eerily apt. Really, who does that kind of thing? Unfortunately to my shame and the great chagrin of my parents, it was hardly the only example.

I found the cage at a garage sale for a quarter and it didn’t take me long to choose it over the well scorched ash trays and old bowling trophies (those I…

For anyone in Canada (or abroad) who wants to discuss initiatives for Billl C-279 (The Trans Rights Bill), please join my discussion group:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/119879024809922/

Forgiveness

A dream of you comes in the night

was I really wrong or was I right

Forgiveness is all that I ask

For a final release from my past

Right in my ways I know I was

Though wrong you I did, ashamed am I because

Try…

The Wolf

The things I see give me fright

As I walk through the night

Untill you came into my sight

Your heart so brave you show no fright

You show me things inside my soul

You mend my wounds to make me whole

But there are wounds you cannot reach

So I learn your lessons and try to teach

Unto myself the morals you bring

Your voice is yet a whisper as you sing

But unto my soul your words are clear

As you run…

This is a new blog post to discuss self acceptance and the wonderful affects that can take place when you choose this path over the self hatred or loathing!

I was traipsing around yesterday on youtube looking through posts and got into a wonderful conversation with a transgender woman that is much farther along than me, yet we see allot of similar views the same yet differently. It was a topic of self loathing or self hatred and here is what I believe and please by all means let me…

Jenna Talackova, a twenty three year old transwoman is Miss Canada representing her country in the Miss Universe contest. That's the good news, the bad news is the Donald Trump sponsored event fired her as Miss Canada after learning she is transgender. ( see, being post-op isn't a pass for all women's event).

It seems, unbelievably, that one of the attestments one must make to apply for the contest is one must be born female, and according to the pageant that means if one had…

I was appalled and really shocked when I found out about the beating of a TG girl trying to use the women's bathroom at McDonald's Restaurant. I watched the entire incident on another TG networking site where the 2 girls doing beating kept kicking and hitting her until she went into what looked like a seizure.

Again, I am really shocked at the complacency and the brutality against this human being, regardless of her gender identity. And to think only a few stepped in to help while…